INDIFFERENCE

Another Tanka attempt but I think I failed this one.

Our once happy home

became graveyard of silence

and dead bones.

Bed as cold as tombstone .

Sometimes I wish we've never met

We could have averted

all these pain and regret 

Till death do us part they often say.

Yet our marriage ended in dismay..

by NeiL ArandA

Author's Note

Photo courtesy of www.jesus-is-savior.com/Godhatesdivorce

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Neil ArandA,
Sensitiviy is a trait which goes a long way. Sensitivity to the feelings of others. Nurture is another which goes a long way to a healthy trusting ability to live together with another in harmony. "Indifference" was a good wake up call to not take our marriages for granted or our children. bless you much. Kathy

[NeiL ArandA]

Thanks Kathy for reading and the comment. You went at the farthest end of my writings.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Yes. I have been finding the backward approach to be oh so wonderful. Each person's history seen through the eyes of their writing, (that is thier writing history.). I am like a little kid and don't want to miss anything..........................Thanks for the opportunity! Kathy

[jacob erin-cilberto]

disarray...ah yes...that old "till death do us part"--thing...which should be rephrased to "till the first major skirmish"---

[NeiL ArandA]

You are absolutely right Jacob. When the honeymoon stage is over...and reality sets in ....its battle royal..Thanks always my friend

[Pax]

I have been reading this back and forth, lately, and many days ago. The title itself gets me thinking. There are so many things we as humans being so indifferent with each others. Perhaps it is such a known fact to why Marriage or Relationship easily crumbled.

We all know that the main building blocks in any Relationship or Marriage are trust and love then loyalty will just come along with it and mutual understanding. It is the main foundation in a family, i think.

We for a known fact are not perfect individuals. In a relationship we Cope up with each indifference. if we don't, then each foundation you build will slowly die.

I see in this piece, the main reason is the mutual silence between two individual after the long arguement of seems to be a small problem that becomes enlarge over time. Then the mutual communication and trust becomes lost... The striking image of the child really takes up this piece into a bigger point of view... because the side effects to any broken relationship is devorce or separation between the two parents... then at an early age the child needs to choose between the two, more often the law makes the choice for the child, a suffering needs a lot of adjustment and understanding. It is hard to imagine a child goes through such difficult situation.

Sometimes through this process the child will suffer some side effects when he/she grows up, depending on the person who takes him/her and the environment he/she grows up with. I guess it depends on how one parent can shower the love of both parents in one. How a mother or a father gives more love to compensate what was lost...

ha! I overthink or over contemplate on this piece...
a very good one My friend...

[NeiL ArandA]

Pax thank you for your detailed review on my piece. I'm sorry that I didn't responded immediately. But your thoughts and your keen perception are always appreciated !

[Pax]

Welcome, always Neil... :)

[NeiL ArandA]

I'll drop by at your house tonight to check what's cooking there. Hey Pax would you be up for the challenge ? Belle has a good idea...Let me know what you think

[Pax]

I am block now a days, but I will try some time later...

[Rita L. Sev]

like the poem, Neil - a commentary on a sad reality in our society. Not sure that it falls into the Tanka category, but it works as a meaningful piece.