Platinum Sheen

Platinum Sheen

A Poem by The Message
"

Pantoum form, written for a contest.

"
We'll stake a claim.
Let the black father wake,
let them take blame
for more is all I'll take.

Let the black father wake,
let trinkets sink
for more is all I'll take.
Abolish the brink.

Let trinkets sink
and the kraken let call.
Abolish the brink.
Welcome this novel fall...

And the kraken let call.
These corpses will
welcome this novel fall...
leave the deep still.

These corpses will
in bringing such a mess
leave the deep still.
And by twilight, oh yes...

In bringing such a mess
let them take blame.
And by twilight, oh yes...
We'll stake a claim.

© 2010 The Message


Author's Note

The Message
Bah, botched the last stanza. I've corrected my mistake but for reference the original second line of the stanza was "falter too tame."

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

Very nicely done, Message! An interesting write you've penned and an almost perfect pantoum. Review the rules for the form again; I'm sure you'll figure it out and correct it, it's easily fixable. Thanks for entering the challenge.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

217 Views
1 Review
Added on April 16, 2010
Last Updated on April 18, 2010

Author

The Message
The Message

Hoover/Mobile, AL



About
I like music (Listening, playing and composing), reading and boardgames. As to writing, I prefer complex metaphor and Lovecraftian influences... and generally being incoherent, haha. more..

Writing
Scene One Scene One

A Chapter by The Message


Scena: Wetlaw Scena: Wetlaw

A Chapter by The Message