Twin Death

I am trying to tackle my sadness differently atm and so i am writing but not wallowing in my self pity, what do you think?

Loneliness

Sadness.

Sometimes it makes my bones ache.

Like they are thin

eroded by the claws of sadness

worn away by the tides of loneliness.

Sometimes it is but a dull ache.

in my beating heart.

a soft, shallow gasp

in the breath of my lungs.

and then...

and then it is a darkness in my eyes,

swallowing, devouring.

It is a tar in my lungs

preventing.

pulling.

mutilating all hope.

And then,

and then it is a slow, cold hand upon my heart

freezing my thoughts

my hopes

my dreams.

Not enough to kill,

oh no.

that would be too kind.

it freezes me

just enough to kill my hopes

my dreams

my love

but not enough to keep the sparks of myself

from sustaining my Life

Oh, woe to me.

for such a tortuous existence.

to always feel.

To always feel

that which i cannot have.

but to never keep it.

to never see it grow.

Author's Note

go ahead and tell me what you think.

Reviews

[Emma Kirchhoff]

This poem shows true feeling without saying, well, I feel this feeling, and you might feel it too, I guess. It describes every detail of the feeling, and makes the feeling your own. It gives off a feeling of relatablility, but it also tells us that the feeling is more relaxed looking at it from afar rather than within. I will admit the last few lines lost me a bit, but otherwise, I really liked it.

[Elisam]

Hi J. Holmes, I really like this poem so much. The simple language really reached out to me and I was drawn along feeling like a knew exactly how you were feeling. I thought the language in the laste verse did not really match the rest of the poem but still very good. Thanks for sharing!