If Only I Knew

If Only I Knew

A Poem by SmileBig :)

Sometimes...I feel worthless
So worthless god cant help. 
So I turn to a blade, 
And fall deep into hell. 
My depression starts all over again, 
And I begin to fall apart. 
Is the end of my sadness near? 
Or....is this just the start? 
Oh, how I wish I knew. 
I wish I could end it now and die. 
But I can't...
So Ill just lay down, think, and cry. 
Maybe I'll get no where 
Maybe I'll be like this for good. 
Maybe there is no point in life, 
But try I should! 
I might be crazy. I know I am
And I know I'm not exactly stable! 
Hell, I know that if my life was a show,
The whole world would have cable. 
But it doesn't mean I should try, 
I got a life, I should live it! 
Why waste life hiding in a corner? 
I think I can do this. 

Ohh If only I knew. 
Well, I guess I'll just have to trust in You 

© 2012 SmileBig :)


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Reviews

Awesome poem!! You had me in that first half to think the worst.... to think like I used to. Then, you came on in a roll of waves with sounding positive and looking for things greater than you to help get you there!! Nice job wit this one... xoxo -Mark

Posted 11 Years Ago


So stunned... how painful to read your words.. Had been suicidal for years, and I hate to think of a friend feeling like this... Yet it comes.. those shadows.. so please.. please know that you can do it.. you can find all the sweetness of life.. just trust in Him..

Posted 11 Years Ago


Just keep on trying harder. The positive will bring out happiness

Posted 11 Years Ago


Try that's all we can do... try and hope, hope and try for the best. Endure, through the years that's what humanity has been best at, not giving up even when it all seems hopeless. The stars still shine, there is still compassion. In reality, everyone feels worthless at some point. Hell, I do sometimes too. Powerful emotions, well penned piece indeed!!! ;)

Posted 11 Years Ago


I think everyone feels this way sometimes, the important part is to get through it knowing those feelings really dont last forever, You've got a great way of writing, its really beautiful and poetic in a way, but you should never give up and always stay as positive as possible!, Great work! ^_^

Posted 11 Years Ago


exactly! When life pushes you down, you get up and smirk when its looks surprised that your still there,because you have to keep charging ahead. brilliant!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Question. Are you in my head? Cause if you're in there...get out XD Just kidding.
I've felt exactly like this, but...not to the point where I want to die. But, I've thought and done exactly what you've written. I've just been lost to the point where I almost stopped believin in God. I have a complicated time with myself when it comes to me thinking about God. I've told myself, firmly, that I do believe in him, just not all the other stuff. I'll just stick to believin in God, and not getting involved in all the extra religion (don't mean to offend anyone and sorry if I have)
The first half of this poem, I agree with everyone else, was kind of depressing, but then you brought it to life and screamed out with words that you'll never give up and that you'll keep living your life, no matter what it throughs at you. This is just an amazing poem!
This poem just spoke volumes to me and I'm greatful for you sharing.

Thank you :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


SmileBig :)

11 Years Ago

Thank you so much for the awesome review! I think the same way about religion! Glad this poem is rel.. read more
A piece that can easily be related to. Hell, I had a night like this just last night. I suppose we all go through our little sufferings, but the important thing is that we have an outlet for it to get by. You write well, and I hope to see more!

Posted 11 Years Ago


SmileBig :)

11 Years Ago

Thanks a lot :)
The first 75% of the poem was depressing!

The emotions that I felt was probably coming from my own heart since it's a poem that you ca easily relate. The sadness that the words deliver is overcoming and intense that you get a bit depressed while reading this.

Well, until the part that it said, "I've got a life! I should live it!"
It's a great expression of opening your eyes and your heart to the world that you can live within it and that you shouldn't give up all hope because if you're still breathing, if your heart is still beating, if you're still living, you still have a shot at the game we call life.

A great read for those depressed people who want something to open their eyes!

THANKS FOR THIS!

Posted 11 Years Ago


SmileBig :)

11 Years Ago

Aww thank you for your wonderful review! :)
I love your poem. keep writing and sending reading requests to me. ^-^ Hag in there because it always gets better through out time.

Posted 11 Years Ago


SmileBig :)

11 Years Ago

Aww thanks, I will :)

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Added on November 19, 2012
Last Updated on November 19, 2012

Author

SmileBig :)
SmileBig :)

About
Hi! How are you all doing? Writing, teaching, and math are my passions, if you're curious. I have so much love for math. It makes me feel alive. more..

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