Waiting for the last laugh a murder in two acts

this is a play I wrote for theater class *kinda sorta revised*

Waiting for the last laugh

A murder in two acts

Act I: Scene I:

Setting: dark alley, weather, raining in innercity Dalian:

characters jericho and damien:

Damien: (walks through the alley, smoking a cigarette, and lifts the sheet on the ground before looking away in shock and disgust) Thirty five years on the force and it gets me every time...

Jericho: I know how you feel (pats damien on the back and drinks from his flask)

Damien: What have you got so far?

Jericho: The victim was 23 years old, caucasian, blonde hair, blue eyes, female, identity unknown.

Damien: (shivers and shakes his head, taking a pull on his cigarette) Unlucky b*****d...

Jericho: (tucks his flask into his jacket)

Damien: (shakes his head and begins to walk away) Come on jericho we need to leave

Jericho: (follows and they both exit stage down right) Looks like we've got another mystery on our hands. (said with a cruel sarcastic tone)

Damien: (sighs) Who is our main suspect right now?

Jericho: His name is Tyler Torretto, hauled in for three acts of violence and he just showed his face in town three months ago right when the murders started...

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Damien: (nods looking over the case file) And where can we find this “Tyler” ….

Jericho: (he pulls a little slip of paper from his jacket pocket and hands it over) This is the address of the bar he stays in ever night until it closes

Damien: (takes it and tucks it into his pocket, rising and donning his hat) Lets pay Mr. Torretto a little visit tomorrow

Jericho: (shrugs a little in agreement but says no more)

Damien: (checks his watch)F**k man, I gotta get home, My wife will absolutely murder me if I am late for dinner again

Jericho: (Nods and takes a drink from his flask) Get going then Damien I'll sort things out with the chief

Damien: (shakes jerichos hand) Thanks Jericho, and thanks again for taking my duty on thursday so I can spend my birthday with Monica

Jericho: (shakes Damiens hand and nods) nothin doin, kiddo

end scene

Act I: Scene II

Setting: damien's home. In the kitchen Monica placed already in the kitchen at the sink

Characters: Damien and his wife monica

Enter Damien: still shivering and his eyes looking haunted

Monica: (Turns to him from her place at the sink)

Damien: Guess who's home?

Monica: (hugs him tightly) My favorite detective?

Damien: (hugs her back tightly and kisses her on the forehead) Yea that would be me..

Monica: (Kisses gently back and breaks the embrace) Let me grab dinner from the oven and we can eat

Damien: (walks to the kitchen, picking up some silverware and plates and glasses and such)

Monica: (sets out the dinner and sits down)

Damien: (sits down with her)

Monica: (begins to eat)

Damien: (pushes his food around the plate listlessly eating very little)

Monica: (looks up a little concerned) Baby whats wrong?

Damien: (starts a little and looks up a little tiredly) Just a tough day...

Monica: (sighs and folds her arms) They found another body, didn't they.....

Damien: (nods and sighs, getting up slowly) I'm just gonna put my dinner in the fridge and eat it some other time babe I'm just not hungry right now

Monica: (nods, quickly finishing hers and washing her plate off in the sink) Time to go to bed?

Damien: (yawns and stretches his arms above his head) yeah.. Lets go

Monica: (smiles and hugs him tightly, wrapping her arms around his neck) Mmm then lets head to bed

Damien: (takes her hand wand walks with her up the stairs)

End Scene

Act I Scene III

Setting: The next day, after not being able to find tyler

Characters: Damien, Jericho riding in the squad car

Damien: F**k...

Jericho: Look it is only one setback we can make up for it we'll try again tomorrow

Damien: (sighs softly) I am just sick of chasing leads that go f*****g nowhere jericho

Jericho: (looks away not responding and just letting damien rant)

Damien: (Sighs and continues to drive) I mean jesus christ man it seems like we are always chasing f*****g ghosts and s**t until we finally catch some clue that leads us to crack the case So many dead ends and dead people... That f*****g girl last night we could have saved her if we had been smarter or faster or something (He runs his hands through his hair and just keeps driving) just like f*****g christ man this is grating

Jericho: (nods quietly and sighs) I don't think that it is our fault...

Damien: (Begins to speak before he is cut off by their police scanner)

Scanner: (crackles) Come in car Foxtrot Alpha Charlie 15, detective Grey do you copy

Jericho: (picks up the scanner) This is car Foxtrot Alpha Charlie 15 detective McCaron speaking

Scanner: Detective McCaron this is dispatch, I have orders from the captain for you and your partner to head to the Southside housing district off of Maple and Grant, The apartment number is 117 we have a report of what appears to be a homocide

Jericho: We are on our way dispatch

Damien: (Grumbles under his breath but swings the car into an alleyway cutting across the street and double back onto the road that will take them to the crime scene)

Damien/Jericho: (Step out of the squad car and walk to the crime scene slowly, damien going in and

Jericho getting the facts from the officers stationed outside the caution tape)

Damien: (He looks at the mutilated body and shuts his eyes tight, trying his best not to be sickened and giving himself a moment, steeling his nerve)

Damien: (Stands in the crime scene all alone inside the house) Come one pretty lady I think we need to have a talk, you are keeping secrets about the killer from me... (He mutters to the corpse on the ground) What do you know.... (He slips on a medical glove and begins gently running his hand along the body shutting his eyes tight to enhance his sense of touch) Mmmm my dear woman you have divulged your secret.... (He pulls from her clenched hand a single shred of black cloth) hmmm interesting

Jericho: (stands outside talking with the police commander on the scene before damien walks over)

Damien: (he pats jericho on the shoulder) Hey Jericho our work here is done, I have a piece which just might tie our case closed

Jericho: (He raises one eyebrow but says nothing only choosing to go with Damiens crazy methods and work out his own solution later)

End Scene

Act I Scene IV

Setting: two days later, on his birthday and frustrated by the case

Characters: Monicas dead body, damien

Damien: (walks through the back door of his home into the kitchen) Hey Monica I'm home

(the house stays silent and dark)

Damien: (shivers, feeling something wrong with his home) Monica....

(he reaches over flips on the light)

Monica: (lays in a puddle of blood, a kitchen knife thrust through her chest, On the tile on the floor is enscribed little grooves filled with pooling blood that read, “Curiosity Killed the cat, or in this case The cat's wife, Don't get too close Damien someone else might die”)

Damien: (throws up in the kitchen wastebasket and stumbles from the house, pulling his cell from his jacket. His entire body shook and his mind writhed in some inexplicable torment and anguish) F**k...

Damien: (calls his police station and his fellow officers arrive many minutes later)

Jericho: (smokes his cigarette and wraps a police hoodie around damien) It's a damn f*****g shame, monica was a good woman

Damien: (coughed and shook a little muttering under his breath)

Jericho: (he hands over a manilla folder containing evidence from their previous cases on this serial killer spree and a notepad) It matches up damien, your wife was murdered by

Damien: (drops his cell, his eyes darkening and becoming angry) I'll find the m**********r and kill him and let him know who he fucked with

Jericho: (looks away and sighs) Just get in the squad car and lets go get your statement

End scene

Act II the beginning of the end

Scene I

Setting: The hogshead bar

characters: tyler, jericho, and damien

Jericho: (walks in and sits at a stool beside a man in travellers clothing) So you umm you new in town?

Damien: (sits next to the man on the opposite side, boxing tyler in)

Tyler: (drinks a shot) yea, been staying in this bar for three months since I got here, whats it to ya?

Jericho: (stares at tyler) Just curiosity... You wouldn't happen to know a Tyler Toretto would you?

Tyler: I'm not too drunk to not recognize me my fine friend, You are looking at Tyler Torretto

Damien: (eyes tyler angrily)

Jericho: (takes out his notepad) Would you mind if we ask you some questions?

Tyler: (grumbles) I would mind very much

Jericho: (looks at him) We are police detectives and we will take you downtown

Tyler: I don't have to answer a goddamn question from you....

Damien: (snarls menacingly) Don't get flippant with me you slimy bellied m**********r

Tyler: (gets up angrily and leaves) f**k off man don't come messing with people who don't want you here (he gets up angrily and begins to stalk off)

Damien: (growls and follows quickly)

Jericho: (looks worried but follows)

Damien: (walks up behind tyler grabbing him)

Tyler: (shakes off damien and begins to run)

Damien: (siezes a nearby piece of dirty pipe and hurls it at Tyler smashing into his left leg and bringing him down

Tyler: (falls to the ground in pain and shock)

Damien: (stalks over angrily, kicking at Tyler's ribs viciously) You are gonna answer some f*****g questions do you understand (as he climbs on top of him)

Tyler: (struggles with all his might angrily) Get off of me

Damien: (Hits him across the face) WHAT THE F**K DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE MURDERS HUH?

Tyler: (bucks) I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING GET OFF OF ME

Damien: (hits him again) Don't you f*****g lie to me

Tyler: (Tries to drag himself out from under damien but fails)

Damien: (Spits on his face) I swear to god I will kill you if you don't tell me what I want to know

Tyler: (struggles) I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING

Damien: (grabs up a piece of pipe and gets ready to swing it right at tylers face)

Jericho: (catches damien's hand taking the pipe) Stop it

Damien: (shakes himself free)

Jericho: (rips the pipe from damien's hand) go chill the f**k out man this is not the time

Damien: (gets up angrily and walks off towards the end of the alleyway, stopping and digging a little snippet of cocaine from a small plastic bag in his pocket and snorting it through one nostril)

Tyler: (scrambles to his feet and runs off, scrabbling over the fence and out of sight)

Jericho: (hits the wall with his fist and growls) f**k

End scene

Act II

Scene II

Setting: Chief Moizoose's office

Characters: Ibrahim Moizoose, Damien, Jericho

Jericho/Damien: (sit at their desks)

Chief Moizoose: (yells from his office) McCaron, GREY GET YOUR ASSES IN MY OFFICE NOW

Jericho/Damien: (Rise and walk to the chiefs office)

Chief Moizoose: (paces in a rage) who in the f**k do you two think you are? Walking around beating a suspect wit a lead pipe? Huh? What the f**k kind of image do you think you have set for this department.

Damien/Jericho: (look down a little ashamed)

Chief Moizoose: I wanna know just what in gods name ran through your heads when you were out there. You know what the times are gonna say about that? Do you know what the governor will do if he gets pressured? (Flips over a stack of papers in a fit of rage) Get out of my office you two, one more slip-up and I will have your guns and badges on my desk faster than you can say fired do you understand?

Damien and Jericho: SIR, YES, SIR CHIEF MOIZOOSE

Chief Moizoose: (shakes his head) get out and let me deal with the press

Damien/Jericho: (leave reluctantly)

End scene

Act II

Scene III

Setting: An alleyway two days later after damien had done nothing on the case

Characters: Chief moizoose's dead body, Jericho, Damien

Jericho: (stands behind the caution tape and smokes his cigarette, police officers around the scene)

Damien: (strides in angry and saddened) What the f**k happened Jericho?

Jericho: (looks up slightly surprised) Someone got the captain while he was coming home, same marks as the serial killer we have been chasing...

Damien: (snarls softly) jesus f*****g christ Jericho this is gonna be my last case if this is what happens now

Jericho: (stubs out his cigarette and getures to the body on the ground, untouched) I'll give you a moment alone with the Chief

Damien: (Stands there staring at the corpse until something catches his eye. He pulls the sleeve of his jacket over her his hand before reaching down and takes the murder weapon noticing that it was oily with the fingerprints of the killer) finally... (He slips it into a bag and stuffs it into his coat making a silent vow to the chief to find his killer)

Jericho: (orders the men to clean this up) Alright guys lets clean this up and get it to the funeral home time for mourning can come later

Damien: (walks away from it all)

End scene

Act II

Scene III

Setting: The empty graveyard after the chiefs funeral

Characters: Damien

Damien: (sits there watching silently the grave of his mentor and chief of police for 35 years. He stares blankly until his cellphone rings. He picks it up and answers)

Lab doctor: Damien, This is doctor Herduncanchud of the crime labs, I investigated the prints and you may not want to hear the answer.

Damien: (sighs) Tell me anyway doc...

Lab doctor: The prints are those of your partners.... Jericho is the killer

Damien: (drops the phone in shock, realization and anger, it cuts off the call as the battery falls out)

f**k.... (He picks it up and stands as clouds begin to roll above him) This is going to end

End scene

Act II

Scene IV

Setting: alley in the rain

Characters: Damien, Jericho

Jericho: (Stands over the place where they found the third victim, before damiens wife was killed)

Damien.: (shakily raises his 9mm towards jericho) I know you did it...

Jericho: (sighs and turns) I knew I left prints on that knife and I had hoped you wouldn't find it

Damien: (snarls angrily) you've been my partner for 35 years and now you have killed my wife, my mentor and you killed who I thought you were, You are a monster

Jericho: (looks on quite calmly) Am I really a monster? Look around you damien look what you did...(He gestures towards the city) You brought this upon yourself and your loved ones... Now you need to die. nobody is a monster damien we just choose to see things differently from the world.

Damien: (shakes so much he drops the gun, unwilling to kill his best friend)

Jericho; (leaps at damien snarling with a big steel pipe)

Damien: (backs away but falls on the uneven concrete)

Jericho: (hits empty air with the pipe and goes down on top of damien)

Damien: (grabs the pipe and jerks it from jerichos hands)

Jericho: (snarls and rolls off damien)

Damien: (kicks jericho in the jaw and lays him out flat. Before rising to his feet)

Jericho: (looks up at damien)

Damien: (brings the pipe down and smashes jericho's face in)

The rain pours down and damien looks up saddened before letting his grip go and sinking to his knees

End scene, end play

Actors: Line up and take bow before exiting stage right down

Author's Note

please tell me what needs to be changed and ignore the big spaces between scenes