Broken.

Broken.

A Poem by TheSecretAuthor

Did you hear that?
It's my life shuddering to a halt.
This car broke down,
The engine is at fault.

Did you hear that?
That's my willpower crumbling.
All it takes is one word,
To send me stumbling

Did you hear that?
That's my respect, all gone.
All your actions scarred me,
And god, now I'm alone. 

Did you hear that?
That was my heart, ripping into shreds.
There's no life left in me,
I can't get out of this bed.

Did you hear that?
That scream of agony?
That was my mind,
I've lost all sanity.

Did you hear that?
That wail of pain?
That is my soul,
Lost in this rain.

Did you hear that?
That last gasp of breath?
Everything is going dark now,
As I succumb to this long awaited death. 

Did you hear that?
It's my life shuddering to a halt.
This car broke down,
You were at fault.

© 2014 TheSecretAuthor


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Reviews

Wow! You did a great job.
The way your text kept getting smaller shows how after each obstacle, which we are not able to cross, breaks us. How everything keeps getting smaller until it ends. Until nothing is left.
Your words are so powerful. I specially liked the way each word is put forth in such a way that the reader can feel the pain. The flow and rhyming is great.
I would love to read more by you :) Thank you!

Posted 9 Years Ago


That was very heartfelt, you did a great work and i loved that :The last gasp of breath.. its very wonderful line,,keep it up :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


Wow.. This one is quite powerful... I loved this part -
"Did you hear that?
That last gasp of breath?
Everything is going dark now,
As I succumb to this long awaited death. "
Great job.. :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


Very well written........worth reading it..........

Posted 9 Years Ago


This would have to be the most creative poem yet.

Posted 9 Years Ago


I love what you did with the text getting smaller and smaller. Thats very creative. This poem is awesome!


Posted 9 Years Ago


I can relate. I love the format, making the stanza smaller each verse. Definitely packs a punch. Great job!

Posted 9 Years Ago


A rather relatable and emotional poem. I loved how you made each stanza smaller and smaller as the poem continued, it was an excellent method to help add the effect that something was wearing down more and more as the poem went on. I don't really rely on using structure to portray detail in my writing as I can never seem to adequately do so, though it is always interesting and pleasant to see when others are able to do so effectively.

Posted 9 Years Ago


very nice! you must be one of those yet undiscovered closet writers, those are some of the best whether published or not arguably, this reminds me of Shel Silverstein

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.

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Stats

423 Views
9 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on November 20, 2014
Last Updated on November 20, 2014
Tags: broken, engines, the, secret, author, poem, poetry, sad, :(, heart, death, sadness, depressions

Author

TheSecretAuthor
TheSecretAuthor

United Kingdom



About
Just a shy little person, who's dreams could build castles, but reality keeps crushing them back down. more..

Writing
Red Red

A Poem by TheSecretAuthor



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