My Heart

My Heart

A Poem by Reianna Jewel

My heart is like a lonely sparrow;

Darting to one potential ‘mate’,

But leaving before getting comfortable.

Never happy with who it finds.


But when I first laid eyes on you,

My heart learned how to be still,

How to expand my love to one being:

You. 


My heart learned to be loyal,

Never letting go,

Never wandering,

Never faltering.


When you took my heart and abused it,

Toyed with it ‘til you bored,

And threw it away like a broken doll,

I shrank to a mouse.


I felt smaller,

Even more vulnerable.

I felt so fragile,

Feeling as if I could be swept away with the wind.


My heart became like a lock,

Hiding everything complicated

Behind one simple mechanism;

My true feelings un-shown.


I gradually learned how to be brave.

Now alert and cautious.

But something else had changed.

I learned how it was to be without feeling.


A heart could mislead you,

Use you,

Take away any feelings.

It can hurt you.


My heart is now like a turtle,

Taking its time,

Making a wise choice

Before just diving in.


I learned to think about my feelings,

And this time

My heart and mind

Say I can love you.


You can’t hurt me.

© 2019 Reianna Jewel


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Featured Review

Awesome! If the new love reads this, they'll know pretty much all they need to know of your past. They would know how to talk to you, treat you and what to be wary of. It would make a good beginning and an easier way to the middle. And with any luck, neither would want an end. It's hard getting over betrayal, but it is possible. And in all honesty, betrayal can make you stronger, wiser, more cautious than ever before. And if we had been that way before the first love came along, we wouldn't have been blinded by their lack of honesty. Most people think that 'betrayal' means it's always about two hearts. That's not so. Betrayal is broken promises, lies, abandonment, secrets that can be far worse than another love.

I read here about myself from a long, long time ago. My husband betrayed me by all the things I mentioned above. There was no other woman and I knew this for sure. I still relate to that day as being the true date of my death. I did die that day, August 3, 1985, Saturday around 3:00 p.m. It took me a lot of years to pull that knife out of my heart. Ten years of marriage just blown away so he could walk off into the sunset. The moment he walked out the door, my worst pain was, how was I going to tell our three children, ages, 9, 5 and 2. It was because of them that I knew I had to pick myself up and figure out what to do next. Hardest thing ever, but I did it. It's been thirty-four years since that awful day and lot happened along the way, a lot. For my children's sake and my own sanity, I forgave him. Of course, our children are grown now and have children of their own. He's a much better Grandfather that he ever was a Father. I'm grateful for at least. We're civil to one another and I actually like his wife, his third wife. I hope they make it.
I hope that for the mending heart and new love in your poem too.

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

such a sad and heart tugging write....

Posted 5 Months Ago


So many of us just dive in head first knowing that it's either sink or swim, but hoping it's going to be for the best. When you find yourself drowning, you tend to operate with alot more caution second time round. Very nicely conveyed, poetic and relatable.

Chris

Posted 5 Months Ago


Reianna Jewel

5 Months Ago

Thank you so much, it means a lot coming from you!
Christine Anne Shaw

5 Months Ago

That is really kind of you to say so and I thank you.
Romantic with a dab of caution. Some people think it through before jumping in full force. Your feelings are evident. Marvelous ...

Posted 5 Months Ago


Reianna Jewel

5 Months Ago

Thank you!
But when I first laid eyes on you,

"My heart learned how to be still,

How to expand my love to one being:

You. "

Posted 5 Months Ago


"My heart is now like a turtle,

Taking its time,

Making a wise choice

Before just diving in."

Posted 5 Months Ago


"My heart learned to be loyal,

Never letting go,

Never wandering,

Never faltering."

Posted 5 Months Ago


Awesome! If the new love reads this, they'll know pretty much all they need to know of your past. They would know how to talk to you, treat you and what to be wary of. It would make a good beginning and an easier way to the middle. And with any luck, neither would want an end. It's hard getting over betrayal, but it is possible. And in all honesty, betrayal can make you stronger, wiser, more cautious than ever before. And if we had been that way before the first love came along, we wouldn't have been blinded by their lack of honesty. Most people think that 'betrayal' means it's always about two hearts. That's not so. Betrayal is broken promises, lies, abandonment, secrets that can be far worse than another love.

I read here about myself from a long, long time ago. My husband betrayed me by all the things I mentioned above. There was no other woman and I knew this for sure. I still relate to that day as being the true date of my death. I did die that day, August 3, 1985, Saturday around 3:00 p.m. It took me a lot of years to pull that knife out of my heart. Ten years of marriage just blown away so he could walk off into the sunset. The moment he walked out the door, my worst pain was, how was I going to tell our three children, ages, 9, 5 and 2. It was because of them that I knew I had to pick myself up and figure out what to do next. Hardest thing ever, but I did it. It's been thirty-four years since that awful day and lot happened along the way, a lot. For my children's sake and my own sanity, I forgave him. Of course, our children are grown now and have children of their own. He's a much better Grandfather that he ever was a Father. I'm grateful for at least. We're civil to one another and I actually like his wife, his third wife. I hope they make it.
I hope that for the mending heart and new love in your poem too.

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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7 Reviews
Added on September 12, 2019
Last Updated on September 12, 2019
Tags: love, hurt, broken, heart, caution

Author

Reianna Jewel
Reianna Jewel

Bonners Ferry, ID



About
I write about what I'm going through and my feelings fuel my writing. I try to make something enjoyable, and I suffer from writers block. I'm a welder and writer in my free time, which I don't have mu.. more..

Writing