No Man's Land

He should not have let himself into where he did not belong...

It’s not a place he wanted to be

A No Man’s Land was all that could be seen.

Home was where he should have stayed put

Burning his feelings into powdered soot.

 

What had brought him here I can’t guess

Now he sends out a call of great distress.

Please, oh please, just leave me alone,

Before my heart strips you bare to the bone.

 

He is wandering in a No Man’s land!

He stumbles passed pits and falls with each step!

This terrible place will tear him apart!

The broken terrain of my hardened heart!

 

He has finally seen the signs,

All which say “Leave your love for her behind.”

I can see him heed that warning,

And on the path home I feel him turning.

 

Wall start to rise back into place,

Defending this land from his love’s warm trace.

Ice is the air and black is the sky,

Where this man has left his feelings to die.

 

He’s finding a way out of No Man’s land!

He stumbles passed pits and falls with each step!

This terrible place will tear him apart!

The broken terrain of my hardened heart!

 

Shadows stain his whole body now,

Worry for his soul weighs down his young brow.

Truth too painful for him to see,

He should not have left his soulmate for me.

 

He is walking out a changed man,

Corruption’s chokes leaving a bruised neck-band.

I slam the gate shut behind him,

Alone in the world as a true Lilim.

 

The poor soul finally free,

I watch him fall to his knee.

Something tells him not to flee.

Instead he whispers to me…

 

I will conquer your No Man’s Land!

I will heal those pits and falls with each step!

This terrible place I will not let rot!

The once-proud wonderland of your sweet heart!

Author's Note

Rated teen for pessimistic themes.

These are the lyrics for a song I want to put into the second chapter of a series I'm writing. The music in my mind is actually Rock, of all things. I doubt that is what would come to anyone's mind when they read it, though. That gives me a small internal chuckle.

As always, feel free to rate and review. I won't send out Read Requests for it since I don't like them myself.

Reviews

[C. Lee Battaglia]

This was a fantastic poem/song!
The flow was spot on!
It's captivating and it hooks the reader from start to end!
It seemed to bring the words to life and If you feel like this should be rock then go for it! I think it fits!
Keep up the incredible work!

Your friend,

C. Lee Battaglia

[E. M. DuBois]

Thank you very much! I never considered myself a true poet, as I’m not really able to speak from the heart whenever I want to. I have to be really inspired, just like with short-stories. It all, from start to finish, just has to hit me at once. I have a few other poems (song lyrics, actually) that I think you’d like, too, so feel free to look them over and tell me what you think! I never reject criticism. I just hope that the novel this poem will appear in will turn out as good as this song did.

[C. Lee Battaglia]

You are very welcome. And yeah I would be happy to check out some more of your poems. This was a masterpiece!

[Leo]

Very nice melodic effect to it. Well written

[E. M. DuBois]

Thank you very much!

[Gee]

Felt at times like you were grasping for the words to carry the rhyme through and as such were making do, unless this of course was meant.
I enjoy rhyming verse, not everyone's cuppa tea, but like a smooth, easy flowing verse when reading this type of poetry.
Good morning, hope all is well with you.

[E. M. DuBois]

I don’t feel like it was force. It’s not like I have a certain quota of verses I want to meet or anything. I just had some sort of inspiration, and certain feelings I wanted to convey, as well as a little story I wanted to tell through this medium.

[Gee]

And that you did. Hope I didn't offend as that is the last thing I would wish to do

[E. M. DuBois]

No, I'm not offended. I would've commented no matter what your critique was. I've developed a desire connect with whoever not only reads my work, but takes time out of their day to comment on it.