Yet again I know no title for this

This is to the the flyleaf version of Something I can never have

I can still see your face now and then

Your voice echoes, like a bad day to disappear.

Scraping up my broken heart again

My favorite dreams of you

Break down my walls.... again(hold)

 

You turned it into hell

You turned it into hell

I just can't take it

I just can't break it

This bloody habit of mine

 

You were always the one that made me whole

And now I feel just like and empty shell

Something your words

Can easily take apart(hold)

Black would be the color

If I had a heart

 

You turned it into hell

You turned it into hell

Im down to one thing

And I'm scared to hell

You turned it into hell

You turned it into hell

I just can't take it

I just can't break it

This bloody habit

 

Still my heart is yours

Though I wanted it back

You never returned it

You're all I ever see anywhere

A fading reminder

Of who I used to be

 

You turned it into hell

You turned it into hell

I just can't take it

I just can't break it

This bloody habit of mine.

Author's Note

Still in rough draft form. Please give good critique

Reviews

[Sean M. Addams]

nice job on this not bad for a rough draft... I really don't see anything that needs major changing..overall nice work!!

[Poetic Beauty]

This is a wonderful way to get your emotions out and to paint a very clear picture. I feel like this on some days. This poem/story I can relate too. The poem flows more like lyrics to me with it's repetitive nature. The description is that I have come to expect out of your work.

[Star Wolf]

Very darkly emotional, how easy a person can destroy us and we just can't get past them, that is hell.

[harman kour]

I enjoyed reading it... but then there was a repetition after a while... otherwise your feelings were well portrayed! :)

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Black would be the color

If I had a heart

Theres something profound about a person who knows and understands a tragic situation, but feels nothing. That curse is a heavy burden one's conscious. This would make an excellent song. I like the rhythm to it all. The emotions are really strong in this piece.

[Julie Estes]

Very Good... It makes me feel your pain!

[clemon73]

Great job, i could almost sing to it.

[Coyote Poetry]

Many titles in the poem. You want a eye grabber. You turn it into hell. Those words stood out in this poem. A emotional journey you took me with your words. I like the ending a lot.
Coyote

[Shalini Dinesh (Poet's ..]

good work, i liked the flow! stanzas are arranged neatly...

[HorrorMaster]

great story, i enjoy it.