A Poem by behind.the.lights

Under my eyes, in my throat, on my shoulders. 
Heavy, restraining, crushing weight. 
The weight that comes with darkness. 
Visible circles of tawny brown and indigo. 
Pressure sinks in, stalely pulses, pushes down. 
Humanity undermined at the sake of responsibility. 
Effects of lids stitched closed, lungs breathed weak, joints made stiff. 
Powder, silence, endurance. 
Playing the role reversal of the era to it's polar extremes... 
in a constantly even and delicate balance of attraction and repulsion. 
Two forces so strong, 
no one dares upset their set nature's struggle, 
whom impose themselves together as unapproachable. 
The physicality of the weight is only sensed in this aura of frigid, standoffish, inaccessibility.
So weight remains.
Just covered.
Powder, silence, endurance.
These ingredients sink in heaviest, with restraints most harsh and consequences most crushing.

© 2013 behind.the.lights

Author's Note

Go at it... commentary and critique welcome

My Review

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Emotionally and contextually, this was really very poignant. I could feel every verb that you used...the crushing, consuming, restraining, etc. I like the transition point, too, where you go into the something softer like "powder, silence, endurance"-- nice juxtaposition. A bit of an unorthodox style with the long and sort lines and no stanza breaks, which makes this read more as a stream of conciousness piece. I would probably attempt to make the lines tiny bit more even, just to help with the flow a little bit, but overall, this was really deep and enjoyable.

Posted 7 Years Ago

A wonderful work of written art :) love it

Posted 7 Years Ago

Well, as a metaphysical poet I am prefer light and dynamism. Yet we are all to stuck with weight and for some it is a mighty weight. Some are also heavy of mind, mentally obese if you will. Separately, there has been a study of the total weight of the human population. If the heaviest folk in the world get heavier it is like there being an extra billion people. So here's to de-materialism and smaller human beings. And fewer of us, too. Looking at your lines again, I don't think responsibilty should weigh us down like that. There has to be balance. If we carry responsibility we might also laugh at ourselves, discretely perhaps.

Posted 8 Years Ago

Wow, this is a great poem.

Posted 9 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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4 Reviews
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on March 12, 2012
Last Updated on January 19, 2013
Tags: weight, eyes, throat, swollen, pressure, shoulders, heavy, restraint, dark, crushing, bruises, circles, pulse, push, consume, stiff, powder, silence, endurance, unapproachable, nature, polar, magnet

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