The End All

The End All

 

Look at yourself

Your own reflection

Makes you sick

Makes you gag

Like filth your stench fills the room

That’s right

They’re whispering about you

I’m laughing too

I won’t stop until you make me

But you’re too weak to end me

Too weak to pull the trigger

Too weak to slide the blade

Too weak to plunge the knife

Too weak to take the dive

Too weak to tie the nuce

A petty half-hearted overdose

Is of little use

I will continue to drain you by a half-life

For every mile you walk

in those shoes

 

Yet further inward you cower

Closer to me and you darkest hour

I am your laughter’s bane

The buzzing in your brain

The weaver of your denial

Your personal thunder and rain

The one who burns your guilt

In stench and ceaseless filth

The nightmares that make you twitch

Your tooth grinding alter ego

 SCREAM MY NAME SCREAM IT B***H!

“Suicide!”

That’s right

The coward’s way out

Or retribution’s shout

Screaming at the back of your mind

“End Us!” “End Us!”

Screwing with you all the time

 

But you’re too weak to do it

So you’ll curl up in the corner

Into a little ball

And burn forevermore

And like filth your stench will fill the room

Till senescence comes, brings your doom

 

 

Reviews

[Anna]

That feeling is known all to well. To say the very least its an emotional rolarcoaster though hell, when the best of times your still in hell, and at the worst the very depth of your soul is being shredded.
The first stanza is my favourite, it made me sit here for a second, stunned, wondering how you got into my head and stole the words that I've never spoken. Very great piece, your emotions are very well portrayed.

[Deron Alexis]

thanks Anna I appreciate it

[Fiona Nadine]

Dude, I feel you. I feel the anger, the desperation. I feel that. Your emotions are on fire.

[Deron Alexis]

lol cool love it when people get my ideas

[gombeggar]

lotta anger here to say the least

[Deron Alexis]

yeah I was trying to show self hate as if it were the hate of another the way they won't hold back from tearing you down

[Katherine]

This very well puts a clear view on what you're trying to express. Its full of strong emotions and it brings to light the conflicting emotions that often go on inside a suicidal person's head. How you want to do it but you're too 'weak.' I can relate very well to what this poem is describing, and it describes it very well. I am sure others will also be able to relate to your poem! Very well written and good rhymes.

[Deron Alexis]

i'm glad it meant something to you thanks

[shallimarRose]

Desperation in ink...
Deron I feel your pain.. I am sorry for your loss and I sympathize with you..
This is a very strong piece and I think you are very angry perhaps at your cousin...
maybe at yourself for not seeing and being able to stop her..
I think this is well written.. You should use your gift to heal..
I think if a person that was already suffering depression and self loathing were to read your opening lines it could really be devastating.

"I am your laughter’s bane
The buzzing in your brain
The weaver of your denial
Your personal thunder and rain
The one who burns your guilt" Strong lines, The second half of your poem is much stronger then the first half.. Just my opinion of course.. Im glad I got to read you.. shallimarRose

[Deron Alexis]

twaz by design that way the escalation showing how loud that crazy part of us can get when its hell bent on destroying everything we built
i'm not too worried about my writings' effect on the depressed they may be already too consumed with the words of their demons for the words of mine to make a difference. But you are right and i do try after I've shed my frustrations i try to see through the dark and write something for the readers looking for a "pick me up" I'll tell you the quality of the poem relates directly to how accurate the feeling portrayed is. I thank you for reading and understanding and all opinions are valued please read some more of my work. :)

[shallimarRose]

I will read more when i return on Tuesday... Rose

[Frieda P]

Disturbing and full of desperation & angst, but I'm sure that's what you were trying to convey. These kinds of works always distress me having lost my sister to suicide, all I can say, is there's always hope...I'm sure that's of little comfort but the pain left behind is excruiateingly unbearable...

[Deron Alexis]

I think people commit suicide when the distress of what is here out weighs that which is left behind. i sometimes like to think that if I were there i would save my cousin but maybe she had already seen the lack of hope that I was too happy to realize

[Frieda P]

I get that Deron, but all you're doing is transferring the pain to someone else, I realize there is total desperation in that choice but it's also totally devasting to those left behind....

[Deron Alexis]

thanks for reading Frieda I appreciate it