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THE COCONUT

THE COCONUT

A Story by DIVYA
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“‘Suspicion is creative in its nature. It can bring out and develop the very evils it conceives” ~ JOHN DANIEL BARRY, "Being Suspicious", Reactions and Other Essays

"

 

They were stumbling down a crooked path of stone, a mortified Rosy dragged by her maid Uma. Perhaps she had gone too far with her suspicions this time. “I don’t think this is a good idea,’’ said Rosy, as they approached a run-down section of the city to see a local shaman, at the behest of Uma. “Madam, just see her once.”


They entered a low roofed, dingy hut, consisting of an empty, dark room. The pitch-black skull of an unknown deity and stacks of burning incense consumed her senses, making her nauseous. In an instant the maid left her side, prostrating herself before a still, lizard-like woman with glowing reptilian eyes. “What brings you to me?” she whispered.  The maid Uma spoke first, “My mistress’s neighbour. She is beautiful and I’m afraid she has enmeshed madam’s husband in her charms.” The shaman nodded knowingly, “Worry not child. A simple matter. Your nemesis will be crushed and your husband will return.” Uma asked, “Holy one, what will it take to subdue the foe?”


“A hundred coconuts,” the shaman replied. Rosy was agog, “A hundred coconuts?” “Pay me and I will arrange,” said the shaman. Then she slowly explained, “The coconuts broken through the night will fracture your enemy’s skull, bit by bit. By dawn, her head will be pulp.”  The shaman smiled, “Go in peace child. Tonight is a Full Moon night. You will have victory,” Rosy and Uma stepped out in the harsh, blinding sun. “Trust me Madam. You did the right thing. Only good will come out of it,”said Uma.


Past midnight, Rosy and her husband were startled by loud wailing from her young daughter Mickey’s room. Aghast, they found the kid convulsing with pain. Blood was spattered on the bed, oozing from her ears, mouth and nose. They rushed the child for medical aid. The emergency team fought valiantly but the kid was dead by dawn. They were confounded by the death. Perhaps an undiagnosed aneurysm had burst. The shocked parents returned home with their lifeless child. As they placed her on her bed, Rosy saw a smashed coconut on the floor. She fell into an instant, deathly swoon.    


Uma the maid was visiting the shaman. The two smiled at each other conspiratorially. The evil in the room was almost palpable. “The Voodoo worked. I’m glad I could bring her to you on Full Moon and you could place the curse on her,” said the maid. “I always hated her so much…”  She sipped her tea, humming a lazy tune under her breath.

 

 


© 2019 DIVYA


Author's Note

DIVYA
Thank you for reading...

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Featured Review

Wowwwww!

This is a fabulous piece of flash fiction! Very creative and well written in your own distinct style. Your literary talents are on fire today!

This story had me glued to the screen just wondering where you were taking me, anticipating a twist, but stunned by the outcome all the same. I didn't see that ending coming at all. That you maintained the suspense throughout and then veered the ending completely left is the hallmark of a fine writer.

I enjoyed this one very much. A short story that deserves to be read widely. Very, very well done with this one. Just fine writing. 🌹🌹

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

DIVYA

3 Months Ago

Thank you Doodley. There is a lesson here that sheer evil exists in this world and it annihilates th.. read more
Doodley

3 Months Ago

You are always welcome and always entertaining! ;)🌹🌹
DIVYA

3 Months Ago

Well... It helps having your light around...



Reviews

You definitely get across the sensations that your characters are, in general, kinda creepy! You tell this whole story in a straightforward way, as if everything is as normal as ever, but your storytelling teeters on the edge of being outlandish, making your characters seem sinister. Even tho it sounds like you had a different idea as to the meaning of this piece (black magic), for me, I am reminded of how we often end up hitting an unintentional target when we engage in vengeful thoughts or actions. Nice allegory with strong imagination (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 2 Months Ago


This was a very macabre story with A nice twist divvy! Those who do, do voodoo, cant say she didn't warn you, of just who's wishes might come... true!

Posted 2 Months Ago


awesome read, you tell a story with great style and language and always a little twist of malicious mischief in the end,

Posted 2 Months Ago


Most enjoyable indeed, Divya. I must agree with Doodly's assessment. Love the twist.

Posted 3 Months Ago


Wowwwww!

This is a fabulous piece of flash fiction! Very creative and well written in your own distinct style. Your literary talents are on fire today!

This story had me glued to the screen just wondering where you were taking me, anticipating a twist, but stunned by the outcome all the same. I didn't see that ending coming at all. That you maintained the suspense throughout and then veered the ending completely left is the hallmark of a fine writer.

I enjoyed this one very much. A short story that deserves to be read widely. Very, very well done with this one. Just fine writing. 🌹🌹

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

DIVYA

3 Months Ago

Thank you Doodley. There is a lesson here that sheer evil exists in this world and it annihilates th.. read more
Doodley

3 Months Ago

You are always welcome and always entertaining! ;)🌹🌹
DIVYA

3 Months Ago

Well... It helps having your light around...

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Added on May 21, 2019
Last Updated on May 21, 2019

Author

DIVYA
DIVYA

🇮🇳 , India



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