The Bad Dictum

I know this title may be cheesy and I'm sorry if it puts you off, I wrote this about my crush who treated me badly.

I glanced out the window of the bus,
I wished it could just be us.
We’d take to my house and hop on the bed,
We’d have a lovers delight and someday be wed.
 
When my heart talks to my brain,
It says to take the leap and stop the rain,
It says to tell you how I feel inside,
But yet in our past I bide.
 
When my brain talks to my heart,
It says to turn and depart,
It says to forget you and the bitter memories,
But yet I can see treasuries.
 
I always wonder what to do,
But all the chances I blew,
You always seemed to be the dictum,

And that made me the victim.

Reviews

[devon]

Oh, Chip, Chip, Chip...

What am I going to do with you?!

You put my love poems to shame, dear... You are the master of love poems!

Every line flowed into the next like a river! And your rhyme scheme played out nicely too. :)

I'm sorry to hear that your crush treated you badly.

[pixieheart97]

Thats a good poem right there Mr Tomb Raider Lover

[ChaoticSoul]

I agree with other review that you write very well for being so young! There is a definite mature sense of emotions written here and you convey it wonderfully. The contrast of dictum ideals over the victim is handled very nicely. Well done!

[Leslie Philibert]

This is a very good poem from someone so young, you have talent and have done very well with this poem, good work.