Neglected
A Poem by
Lauren_Jane_96
A child and her mother.
Previous Version
This is a previous version of Neglected .
Lights off,
Door closed,
Off she goes again
I see the men she goes off with every night
Not the same, never the same.
Leaving me here
Alone.
Always alone.
The silence.
The dreaded silence.
When she leaves,
The click of the lock,
The pull of the key,
Makes her feel so distant.
I want to scream out for her
Into the dark, frighting street
But she wont come back.
Not for me anyway.
She comes back,
When she has to.
She does not speak,
Not to me anyway .
Her hair would be knotty, fizzy
Her clothes would be torn,
She would be sick all over the carpet
Her tears would fall
One,
By,
One.
I hear them crash.
I want to comfort her,
I want to let her know I am there,
She doesn't care,
Not for me anyway.
I fear she forgets me,
It's like I'm not there,
But I am,
I am always there,
I never leave.
I can't .
I shan't.
I can't leave her,
She'd be so alone,
Even with those many men,
Those many, terrible men.
They can't get enough of my mum
I wonder whether they know her name?
I wonder if they know,
She has a daughter?
A family,
Friends,
A life?
They probably don't
They just don't care
But I care.
I will always care.
© 2011 Lauren_Jane_96
Author's Note
With many thanks to 'Millie' who helped me write this. You are very talented and wish to write more poems with you in the future. :)
Featured Review
I get this. This is so sad. I could almost feel the girl's emotions. It feels really real, the brief sentences. There's almost a staccato feel to this whole poem. VERY VERY VERY WELL WRITTEN. it's simply amazing. My favorite line?
"One,
By,
One.
I hear them crash"
Amazing. keep up the good work!
Posted 13 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
Reviews
I get this. This is so sad. I could almost feel the girl's emotions. It feels really real, the brief sentences. There's almost a staccato feel to this whole poem. VERY VERY VERY WELL WRITTEN. it's simply amazing. My favorite line?
"One,
By,
One.
I hear them crash"
Amazing. keep up the good work!
Posted 13 Years Ago
I get this. This is so sad. I could almost feel the girl's emotions. It feels really real, the brief sentences. There's almost a staccato feel to this whole poem. VERY VERY VERY WELL WRITTEN. it's simply amazing. My favorite line?
"One,
By,
One.
I hear them crash"
Amazing. keep up the good work!
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
Hey Loz, We need to finish Our story, want me to carry on when I have time?
Posted 13 Years Ago
Hey Loz, We need to finish Our story, want me to carry on when I have time?
A sadly beautiful piece, I could feel the emotion and see the imagery.
I have seen situations like this in real life, which does not say much for some in humanity.
Awesome work!
Posted 13 Years Ago
A sadly beautiful piece, I could feel the emotion and see the imagery.
I have seen situations like this in real life, which does not say much for some in humanity.
Awesome work!
Wow such a powerful, emotional read.
This is written and expressed so well.
Enjoyed reading this.
Posted 13 Years Ago
Wow such a powerful, emotional read.
This is written and expressed so well.
Enjoyed reading this.
Life in real is seldom a "Love Story" though all the novels and movies try to make it so. We live as we can as best we can. If this isn't a real story of you then it is for many of the readers and you speak the talk well... I really hope you didn't have to walk it as well.
Chris
Posted 13 Years Ago
Life in real is seldom a "Love Story" though all the novels and movies try to make it so. We live as we can as best we can. If this isn't a real story of you then it is for many of the readers and you speak the talk well... I really hope you didn't have to walk it as well.
Chris
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
Author
Lauren_Jane_96 Whiteley, United Kingdom
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