Never to bloom

Some flowers are born to be lovely, but aren't given their chance to bloom.

 

There once was a flower.
Who was bright and pure.
but was very weak
For she was too demure

 

she was too quiet
To speak to the crowd
Of the other flowers
Who were all around

 

So she slowly grew pale
Each petal would wither
And no one would look
When she started to shiver

 

And this flower
Started to fall
And no one noticed
No one at all

 

Petal after petal
She was slowly dying
But no one would comfort her
As she lay crying

 

And no one would look
As if she was shunned
But all she wanted
Was to see the sun

 

 So she called out

and lifted a wilting leaf

"Please let me see the light

even if it is very brief."

 

 but her call was ignored

forever unheard

as she disappeared

into the earth

 

 And never to bloom

She would truly be

like other flowers

that never showed their beauty.

 

 

Author's Note

I wrote this and someone made me realize it wasn't done. So I finally finished it. I hope you like it.

Reviews

[Aethereal]

I enjoyed how you personified this flower as a statement about how life isn’t always fair. I was inspire by your first verse to write this tiny gift song-poem for you which you may keep as your own. I used overlapping rhyme where 1/0/1/0/1/0 meter is over 1/0/1/0/1 meter where “0” is a non-accent and “1” is an accent, All rhymes are exact: It sings:

Open Sky

There once was a flower
who was weak and shy
reaching for the power
of the open sky.

[WordlessFacade]

Thank you for the poem! I really like it =)

[Aethereal]

You're welcome! I just wanted to demonstrate the power that Classical meter, and perfect rhyme has to turn an ordinary poem into a song-poem.

[MoriartyMesa]

I enjoyed this, the flower may not be seen but it always blooms.

[WordlessFacade]

Thanks!! :D

[Adreamer's Bluejay]

I love the way you told this story the word choice was amazing and you really mastered flow in this write. Can't wait to read more of your work

[WordlessFacade]

Thank you! I'll try and write more soon. :)

[zelf]

In general I tend to shy away from poems written from the state of complete gloom. For some reason though this one stuck out, it has a nice flow to it. The structure is thorough even though I thought it would be broken by the last sentence. "truly" and "beauty" fit too well to entirely break it.
The metaphor works well too, conveys the message, which is probably the most captivating part of your poem.

Good luck!

[WordlessFacade]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! =)

[Damien Thibodeaux]

So sad. Sad, yet beautifully written. You are proving you can touch the hearts of your readers.

[WordlessFacade]

Thank you. :)

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

Beautiful, just beautiful, nicely written.

Kaze~ :-)

[WordlessFacade]

Thank you =)

[♔ CrownedDevil ☾]

Your very welcome, it was my pleasure. :-)