No.

No.

A Poem by Tobias H. Reese
"

Hemmingway says you can't come back, but Neruda says you will....

"


I would tell you that I've missed you, but that would be a lie.

I would say

 "Every thought has been of you"

but that would not be true.

I would pledge that,

 “Never a day shall pass again without my being near you…”


 but it isn't true. I am not bereft or dying.


I have not missed you.

I must tell myself.


I haven't shaken down apples two by two

because that is what we used to do,

I haven't watched an airplane drift away till it was gone,

imagining someone suffering within it.. swung from broken boughs

bent back toward a childless Earth.


I haven't missed you.

I must tell myself

    and believe.



Like youth watching a minute hand

rushing in slow-no-motion towards a ghostly birthday party,

I haven't glanced compulsively at my phone

irrationally, neurotically watching for your call.

Nor- in this evenings age of transcendence-

would it bother me to have missed the call

should you have made it.


Your shadow remains in the kitchen doorway

Long after the long black walk to evermore.

My shadow gave up, went back inside

 to spread icing on a piece of liver, and remain on terra firma.


I haven't felt emptiness or loneliness

stretched out like a barren beach.

I haven't watched our river carry paper boats away,

nor regretted having cast them from our reach..


I have not missed you.

I have not missed you.


I haven't debated with myself over emailing you 

just to tell you of something silly,

without affection…

I haven’t ill-fated a bloody letter in the guise of a random “Hello”

just to delude myself a proxy connection.


I haven’t thought back

how your hands stirred

tomato soup

as I chopped fresh cilantro while we chatted about ..

Well…you know that special chat.

I haven’t thought about that.

I …never… think back upon that.


No repressions, or revived self transgressions...

None.


I haven't thought of curly locks or bitten lips

or chuckles from a cloud.

I haven’t fantasized road trips to mountain tops,

Nor have I cursed aloud.


I haven't closed my eyes or wished that,

upon them opening,

you could still be here.


I haven't.

I haven’t.


I haven’t heard a million thunder strummers

Soul drumming near the levees of my sanity;

I haven’t felt….oh what is the use?!?!


Enough!! Enough!!  Enough of this!!

.

.

.

Besides, if a heart breaks while no one is around,

does it make a sound?

Do trees weep forever dying

As roots rotted, come unwound?


Why should this matter?

You see, I have not missed you.


 I must tell myself.

And believe.


 And no tune nor prose or vague smile from a stranger

(even that one whom resembled my late friend)

can wed my eyes to care…

No thinking back of love-attacks can plant my spirit there.


I have not felt anxiety creep dire down into my stomach

 nor have I sobbed like a fool,

I have not listened to wind swept songs in my mind

 and

I have not missed you.

I have not… missed you.


 

It would be the greatest-

the most tragic lie one could hear in fact-

to utter those simple words.

I must tell myself.


and so I do.

.

.

.

But I'll not tell you...


No.

Where ever this universe has placed you,

 you will not hear these words from me.


Besides, you wouldn't believe that the counting of apples;

or paper boats

or birthday party count-downs could exist

without you by my side.


or worse


You might even return a whisper through a veil or  scribbled stone:

"I've missed you too".


and I would know


that you were lying.


 


 


 


© 2016 Tobias H. Reese


Author's Note

Tobias H. Reese
It should never be assumed my art is personal; as a storyteller, craftsman and poet the composition as an entity itself takes top priority.
Typically I draw on life experiences (as any honest writer should) though I am not one which uses prose as a megaphone for my personal life.
I write in the land of metaphor, a world of symbolism and unrestrained abstraction governed by a hypothetical thought process and rhetorical sense of understanding.
However, I welcome your feelings or personal impressions- be they objective criticism or otherwise.

My Review

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Reviews

Seriously. This is a very enjoyable piece of work. Interesting. I wanted to write more but then i read Author's note. So i am not adding anything just to go against your rule. Haha. However, thanks for sharing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Tobias H. Reese

8 Years Ago

Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. :-)
I am glad that you found it enjoyab.. read more
Tobias H. Reese

8 Years Ago

I've since revised my author's note so as not to insinuate that my works are mere exercises in prose.. read more
This is excellent. I really enjoyed reading it. I agree with you that metaphor and symbolism are great tools for poetry.
"unrestrained abstraction"...I love that concept.
I look forward to more of your writing
Annie

Posted 8 Years Ago


Tobias H. Reese

8 Years Ago

Thank you very much for your time in reading and writing. :-)
I hope that the new year is off.. read more
gentlekindness

8 Years Ago

Thank you for the link. I do not have an instagram account but I might sign up for one.
Did .. read more

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556 Views
2 Reviews
Added on January 4, 2016
Last Updated on January 10, 2016
Tags: Pablo Neruda, Sylvia Plath, Robert Frost, Earnest Hemmingway, Dylan Thomas, Richard Wrigth, Nikki Giovanni

Author

Tobias H. Reese
Tobias H. Reese

Mebane, NC



About
Tobias H. Reese is an artist. His primary mediums are video, music composition, prose, sound-paintings, photography and filmmaking comprised from each of the above. He is a luthier (instrument maker) .. more..

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