The questions I ask myself at night

The questions I ask myself at night

A Story by Tomoe Tellez
"

Sometimes overthinking what you know can be dangerous.

"
I am the kind of writer who writes better at night. So I normally start writing at nine or ten, but the good stuff comes to me after midnight. 
One night I sat at ten in my writing area, which is my seat in the dinner table for I don't have my own room in the house, I have to share with my grandma. I was writing the last chapters of my first novel and listening to music. Generally I listen to soundtracks from the movies I like to help me get in the mood I need. 
I got so caught up in my writing that I turned off my laptop at four in the morning. I had two hours left of sleep for I had to go to school the next day. I often tell myself stories to help me fall sleep fast. I began thinking about what I had just written, a story where the characters can travel through time and realms. I don't remember how that led me to ask myself "what if the stories I write about, I am not really making them up? Maybe it's something I can see through a wormhole and it's happening in another dimension. It all just falls perfectly in its place. I really need to stop watching my brother’s science T.V. shows. I write fantasy, not science fiction. What's happening to me?"
I'm sure I fell asleep sometime later because that's all I remember.
Days later mother read to me and my brothers the Bible. There was this story that talked about giants. I'm not a very religious person, but I do like to read the Bible. Though there are some parts I sometimes wish I hadn't read. I don't know if those parts were meant to be figuratively or if what they tell really exist or has existed. There are ghosts, dragons, the giants, all sorts of monsters. And it all just gets me thinking at night.
Watching T.V. with my brother doesn't help. It just makes me ask myself even more questions.
Like the pyramids in Egypt, who made them? Was it really humans? How come they are so perfectly aligned with the stars? Or the crystal pyramid that is in the Bermuda Triangle underwater. Underwater! 
Don't even talk to me about outer space or aliens. I mean, the universe is infinite, according to scientists. Are we really the only intelligent beings in the whole universe? 
Mom tells me that we're not, that god and the angels are out there, and that god made the universe just for us. But if the Earth is practically a grain of the dust compared to the size of the sun, and the sun itself is nothing compared to the biggest star in the galaxy, why make so much space? 
Besides people say that the water we drink is going to be gone one day, as well as the food we eat, the trees, and the animals. But how can that happen, the Earth is so big to us that there are places which humans haven't even walked through. We only know ten percent of the oceans waters.
The most horrifying conclusion I have come to with these questions is "what if we are actually the experiment of the real human race, and they have advanced technology they used to build the pyramids and all the ancient architectures that archeologists can't figure out how they were built? Maybe that's why there are so many different diseases with no cure. Maybe that's why we can't find anything out there. They are hiding it from us.
Other times I think:
What if I'm not real?
What if what my fictional characters are to me I am to another?
What if the theory of the multiverse is true and my other me is suffering in another dimension and that's why I get depressed for no reason?
What if in one of those universes I did die when I was a baby and I was drowning, maybe that's why I feel incomplete and not because I don't have a boyfriend?
The last one is my favorite. It actually makes me feel better. 
Though I don't know if I like asking myself these questions or not because they help me with my writing, but they scare me as well.


 

© 2015 Tomoe Tellez


Author's Note

Tomoe Tellez
What do think? Have you ever asked those questions to yourself?

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Featured Review

If individuals aren't asking these questions, they're not asking the right ones! Nah, but yes, I have asked myself all the above! Your thoughts are so inspiring. I can't wait to read your other works. If these are just your thoughts, damn, you must have some amazing stories! The most interesting thought you had for me is the one where you asked what if you are to someone what your fictional characters are to you? That's a powerful question, as they all are, but I think as writers that raises an uneasy feeling. Kind of cool, kind of eerie.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tomoe Tellez

4 Years Ago

Oh my gosh! It's one in the morning and you made me blush and put a really big smile on my face, I w.. read more
Angie

4 Years Ago

I'm glad you liked my review! I doubt you'll let me down at all. I feel like this is just a sneak pe.. read more



Reviews

this kind of gave me chills,,,there are so many thoughts going in your mind...... so many questions...loved it..really

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tomoe Tellez

5 Years Ago

It gives me chills too, that's why I got it out of my head. Thank you for your review. :)
Hello Alondra, you shouldn't be troubled at all, what you have
Is just a strong imagination and an open mind. What ever it is
That we read, somebody wrote it, its just a matter of believing
In it or not, so What ever What If it is you would like to share
Go ahead and write it down. I have a bunch of What if
Moments as well, a lot of people do. The problem is a whole lot
More of them out there does not have it, and they will judge and
Crucify you for thinking so. But don't worry that's What Is they do
Best because they cant What If just like you. So Keep writing.
And thanks for sharing! :-)

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tomoe Tellez

5 Years Ago

I do feel out of place most of the time for when I ask this questions out loud people shun me, but a.. read more
Awesome write loaded with questions I am sure are always asked. I know I've asked most these if not all. Are we really the only living beings in this entire universe? It's hard to believe. Did Noah from the Bible really live 950 years? Is it even believable or was their measurement of time screwed up? It's crazy to think of the things we believe in the Bible... like the Red Sea parting so it could be crossed... I actually read something a while back about Thomas Jefferson (U.S. 3rd president) ... he re-wrote the Bible to his liking. He took out all the things he didn't agree with or felt were interpreted incorrectly. So many questions in this life :) Nice work it sparked some thought for me :)

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tomoe Tellez

5 Years Ago

I have read about those great lifespans, Noah wasn't the only one, the number of years lived by huma.. read more
Wait wait... I'm no religious person...but i did read the bible...remind me, where does it speak about dragons, and giants? lol. I must have missed that part.
other than that, nice write.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dani The Unreviewed

5 Years Ago

Hieronymus Bosch is based on
Genesis 6:1–4
The Nephilim
( Hebrew : נְפִי.. read more
Dani The Unreviewed

5 Years Ago

But in my version, they are children of the "fallen angels" and the "daughters of man" now you see m.. read more
Tomoe Tellez

5 Years Ago

Yeah, I know, it's something you learn when you know 2 languages, that's why I only read the Bible i.. read more

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Added on August 12, 2015
Last Updated on August 20, 2015
Tags: questions, universe, writer, dark

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Tomoe Tellez
Tomoe Tellez

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I am a since I learned how to write. No kidding, my mother has home videos where I´m talking about the stories I use to write for my little brothers at the age of seven. I’ve always writt.. more..

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