Life changes

Life is never the same always

I am loosing my faith

  I can't find any hope

    Life has brought me an ache

      With which I cannot cope

         I never needed to be strong

           In my life, there was nothing wrong

             For what I once had 

               I am grateful

                 But now that it's gone

                   It's too painful!

Author's Note

What do you guys think?

Reviews

[Abyssmouse]

There is a sadness in the realization of how fleeting the structures of our lives are. Your wording conveys what it needs perfectly - at least in my book.

I very much like the flow in this.

I am curious as to why the color difference? It's not something you usually do.
Well done in any case :)

[Tomoe Tellez]

Well, I had done it based on the main subject of the line, like the one with wrong had red, grateful had green and hope was blue. But I've changed to black because people think it's distracting. Thanks a lot for your words and for reading it! :D

[zunie frost]

i was thinking about writing a poetry on same topic ... i like yours

[Tomoe Tellez]

Thanks a lot! If you do write it send me a message, I would like to tread it.

[zunie frost]

i'll post it as soon as i got time !!!!

[Chris]

I think you spoke well, the style/format was good for this one. I disliked the color switching line-by-line because for me it was just a distraction, it didn't add to any meaning or thought.

[Tomoe Tellez]

Thanks a lot for your review! And I change the color to completely black.

[747]

Ha, yeah... You're just merrily walking along and then wham, there's life with a curveball.
I think this is really well expressed and very relatable. I particularly like your last few lines; many people get caught up on longing and grief, forgetting to remember times of joy & tranquility. And others sometimes even wish they'd never had the experience at all because it ended painfully. So, I guess I'm just glad to see the sets of lines together.
I am curious about your colour choice though. It almost seemed like you were going for a rainbow but then completely changed your mind. Was there any reasoning for your colour choices?

[Tomoe Tellez]

Yes, yes! I was going for something like that to represent the poem, just like you said, we're happy and then wham!, that's why I had chosen to suddenly stop it and put it in black. Though I changed it because it's distracting for other readers that didn't get it like you did. Thanks a lot for the observation and your kind words! :D

[Imperfection2aT]

I love the use of colors because they add a very creative and stimulating visual aspect to your work. Your theme of loss and change speaks through your AB pattern, and I quite enjoy it. Great job!

[Tomoe Tellez]

Thank you so much for this review! :D

[Kyle Wynn]

I thought it was nice, just the second to last line was a little difficult to read but that might be my computer.

[Tomoe Tellez]

Sorry, I fixed it! Thanks a lot for reading it :D.

[justdandy]

You did a great job. Thank you for sharing.

[Tomoe Tellez]

:D Thank you for reading!

[AaronFreitas]

I love your raw honesty... we are all challenged and at times we come to a crossroad where we have to decide what is in our heart and if our faith strong or not. Just because things aren't good or they aren't what we want doesn't mean He has turned his back on us... should we turn out back on Him when the going gets tough or do we focus on our faith and believe that He will help us through it? Love your thoughts :)

[Tomoe Tellez]

Yeah, I'm kind of going through like my first hard fall on the road of life and I wanted to share this to see who else could relate to it and get the feeling out. But we must always keep strong, or else we would lose the fight. Thanks a lot for your words, they meant a lot to me.

[AaronFreitas]

There will be many falls... some worse than others but the way we grow in life is about how we push forward after that fall :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

The third line is completely unreadable cuz of the extremely light color.

[Tomoe Tellez]

I fix it! :D

[Bear]

The relationship between faith and pain is an interesting concept, I wish you would have explained more about that. The poem is thought provoking, and raises some questions like, is it emotional, spiritual or even metaphysical influences that have inspired the changes and the biggest question, what went wrong and why? You have me wanting to know more, you cant ask for a better reader review than that :~)

[Tomoe Tellez]

Well, I want it to be open, so more than one person can relate to it. Whatever event happened to change one's life could be many things, usually a big change can do this. Thanks for reading it!