' A murder of crows '

Do crows really need to be destroyed so indiscriminately?

Bang!
The crack of shotgun, shatters the dawn
thunderous throng, feathers flutter
hapless crow, unceremoniously, falls in gutter

Bang!
There again, this bright summer morn
now a grey pigeon, falls into water
innocent victim of wanton slaughter

Bang!
Another black crow, cutdown forlorn
ever relentless, pull on trigger
ego inflated, enhancing vigour

Bang!
So it continues, on and on
bedraggled birds, dying or dead
because one man, sick in the head!

Bang!
O' Lord, though my soul is torn
I pray, the innocent be spared
and bloodthirsty men, eternally interred!

Author's Note

Please, be as subjective as you like !

Reviews

[DIVYA]

This poem is so sad. It reminded me of those ignorant time when royal men and men of blue blood went to hunting parties and brought back the heads of hapless wild beasts as trophies or stood and posed with one foot on the poor carcasses. When will man learn. Poor birds!

[Tom]

Yes Divya, your comparison is exactly my poem's purpose, thank you my ffriend rise!

[DIVYA]

You are welcome Tom. Your writings full of compassion and emotion are so appreciated.

[Stella Armour]

Hi Tom, to be honest crows scare me with their predatory ways.
My old dog was terrified of them when they persecuted her in her own back garden.
I would have shot them dead if i could have and in truth i am a very pacifist person usually...

[Tom]

Yes indeed, thank you for your objective thoughts!

[barleygirl]

It's interesting that I should find this poem to read at this point in time. There are six dozen other poets at the cafe who are heralding birds as being the harbinger of spring, so I wrote a poem about how I hate birds. I hate that they peck away my beautiful garden output. I hate that they squawk so loudly & pierce my solitude. On & on it goes. Really, my "hate" of birds is just for fun. But it is my observation that when I try to chase the birds off, more will come. I find it best to co-exist, as nerve-wracking as that can be for an OCD maniac at times! *wink! wink!* Out of all the spring bird ditties out there, however, your poem is the most unique becuz of the dynamic way you put this, showing us the injustice to the birds! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Tom]

Thank you Barley

[marilyn 1225]

well done , meaningful, powerful poem

[Tom]

Thank you my friend!

[k]

I really enjoyed this poem, one of the better ones I've read on this site I think. Your use of repetition through the word "bang!" is impeccable. Literally, the poem is about a hunter killing a defenseless murder of crows, but the poem made me think of such recent travesties as the Las Vegas shooting and the Sandy Hook tragedy. Whether that was your intention or not, it's a very strong image.
My only suggestion to consider in revision is your punctuation. There are a lot of places that seem like they could use punctuation, but it's missing, particularly at the end of your lines.
Good work, I hope this review is helpful!

[Tom]

Yes, a very thorough and exemplary examination and what's more, you're in sync with my thoughts, though the subject matter was an actual event, the chaos of present day, modern society was very much a subliminal intention to evoke the reader's understanding!

Thank you my friend for the wonderful feedback!

[APOORVA]

what an amazing write...keep up!

[Tom]

Thank you Apoorve!

[Great Aunt Astri]

I echo your sentiments. You have written a very visually vivid piece. I hate to see animals (and birds) suffer or get abused. I wonder what on earth goes on in the head of those 'bloodthirsty' men. A sense of power, I suppose. Or perhaps, just ignorance.

[Tom]

Both l think Aunt Astri, thank you my friend for your visit and sage like thoughts !

[Sheila Kline]

Your words remind me of how man has to be superior over fowl of the air, animals of the land, fish of the sea, and too often of others of our species. Man is the highest form of life (that we are aware of), and we are able to annihilate the weaker with our show of power; our weapons, our wealth, our ability to conquer.

The lowly crow, though often a major problem for farmers (and for the cherry tree that was picked clean in a matter of what seemed to be minutes by hungry crows), is part of God's plan, a needed part of life.

You have presented your message with clarity, especially with the repetition of the "Bang!".

Yes, may the innocent be spared from those whose goal in life is to rule by power and might! May we be respectful of that which has been given to us by taking only what is needed, not useless slaughter of creatures including the crow! And may we remember our proper station in life!

[Tom]

Yes indeed so my dear friend, tolerance and respect is all I'm trying to get across, and as always you see that so well and indeed,the bigger picture!

Thank you again Sheila!

[Sheila Kline]

It is my pleasure to review your poems that always have a another message tucked within your words! Please keep sharing with us your insightful way of getting a message across to us; now to remember to heed it when it is given!

[Moonie]

A very visual poem i must say...like how you used the sound so effectively!

[Tom]

Thank you Moon's fairest, your words are appreciated!

[Tony Jordan]

In a fit of pique I dare say if i'd been armed, I'd have shot the magpies that raided the little starlings nest in my eves but then I know I couldn't have. I cried for two days once when a fledgling i found wouldn't eat despite being abandoned by mum.
Your title and the layout is very apt - systematic slaying. Good job.

[Tom]

Thanks again Tony for your visit and perceptive review!