Title At The End!

It was described as more of a riddle poem so I think I'll have the title at the end.

 

 

 

I know you are watching me,

 

I can feel your stare

 

as I stand upon your skin

 

millions of tiny eyes blink back.

 

 

I hear you calling in the night

 

as you seem to scream in pain.

 

you throw your hands upon the rocks in temper,

 

punishing yourself and the land you seek to conquer.

 

 

On sunny days grey clouds follow you

 

they make you seem angry,

 

But I can hear you sing

 

as you watch the children play their games.

 

 

 

In winter when you let it snow

 

your perfect skin goes from golden to white.

 

Your greedy hands grab as much as you can

 

but the fragile flakes melt into your watery grasp.

 

I don't know if you notice me.

 

I am like a grain of sand to you and your infinite power.

 

But I notice you,

 

my friend, my life, my sea.

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Just wanted to know if there was any bit your liked or didn't like ect.

Reviews

[Eldee]

Interesting poem, definitely was an attention catcher. I love the language and rhetorical devices you used, and the last line really got to me!

"But I can hear you sing
as you watch the children play their games."

I loved that line as well, the painting it makes and the picture which shows up in my mind was just so vivid I was like 'whoa!'. Some of the lines I was a little iffy, not sure if you were trying to rhyme or not, but that was just something that confused me a little.

[JudyC]

you throw your hands upon the rocks in temper,
punishing yourself and the land you seek to conquer.

These lines remind me of the rocky Maine coast, a short drive from where I used to live. I like the description of the sea as "friend". The first two lines of the poem drew me in. Good imagery!

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Almost didn't find your lovely poem. You are having the same problme that I have posting. Cut it and post again to get it up at the top.


Your poetry shows talent and I hope to see more from you.