The Truth

This is the truth that I've never shared with anyone. The truth about how I really feel about my adoption and the discovery of my biological family.

I don’t really know what this is.

I wouldn’t call this poem because it doesn’t rhyme.

Or a story.

There’s no characters.

No twist ending.

Maybe a rant.

But I feel the need to get something off my chest.

 

Everyone makes a big a*s deal about me.

That I’m adopted.

And the fact that I found my biological family.

They say that I “found a missing piece of me.”

I was never lost!

I was never missing a piece of me!

I was always me.

And I was always comfortable in that.

I had my family.

I had the best big brothers a girl could ask for.

And a little sister that had been through everything with me.

I had friends.

I had the perfect boyfriend.

I didn’t need another set of parents.

Or another set of siblings.

 

All my life media has told me,

“When you find your ‘real’ family it will be like finding your missing piece.”

Every movie

Tv show

Even book

That had an adopted child made it seem like this life changing moment.

Like if you didn’t find your biological family then you would never find yourself.

When I was little I thought maybe it would be like that.

Maybe I would feel complete.

But it wasn’t like that.

It’s been nothing but a s**t storm.

It’s been nothing but pain for me.

Now I’m just the girl who found her biological family.

I don’t even feel like myself anymore.

 

Everyone is always asking me,

“How does it feel to have finally found them?”

Well let me put that question to rest.

S****y.

I wish I had never found them.

I wish they were still a mystery to me.

I feel more lost now than I ever did in the past.

 

It was never a secret that I was adopted.

I used to wear it as a badge of honor.

I was different and unique. 

But now I don’t even wanna bring it up.

I don’t want people to notice.

I’ve never thought of my family of ‘not my family’.

But now it’s different.

I go out to lunch with my mama and they think I’m her friend.

And it’s just another reminder.

 

I want to go back to when I didn’t know these people.

I don’t know these people.

At all.

They aren’t my family.

And they never will be.

 

That's all I guess. 

Author's Note

I only chose poem as the category cause I didn't know what else to call it. This isn't supposed to be a "poem" so please keep that in mind when reading.

Reviews

[angel]

I was impressed with what you wrote. That being said,tell me something; as an adoptee (is that a word?), would you have been upset if your adoptive parents had told you that, while most people who have a baby have to take whatever baby they get, you (as an adopted child) were chosen out of all the little girls in the world?
I am asking because I wrote a book, and one of the family's children was adopted as a newborn. This is something I had the parents say to her. If this is offensive to an adopted daughter, I want to know. I want to change it if that is the case.

[ToriSchrodi]

Personally I would not be offended. The whole "biological family" is a very touchy subject for a lot of adoptive families and adopted children. So I could understand parents feeling this way. but I have a few adopted friends who are a bit more into the idea of meeting their biological family and do feel like it is a large missing piece of their lives. So they could take a adoptive parents saying to them as them rejecting a part of them. So I would say it depends child to child. For me I was lucky enough to be adopted as a newborn as well and I was adopted into a very well off family who always supported me no matter what I decided to do. So I was always very secure in myself.

I think it's really cool that you're writing a book about adopted children. There a lot of people who are very ignorant when it comes to this topic. So good luck to you!

[Ghost writer]

hey, this is really sad, my sister is adopted, she's smart like you tho, the knows we're her family and this is where she belongs, I'm sorry this happened to you and I sincerely hope you find what you had before you met those people, who everyone's trying to convince you is your family, I understand missing ignorance

[ToriSchrodi]

I'm very lucky in the fact that it is not my family who feels this way. It is mostly friends and people on the outside who do not understand adoption. Normally I am very happy with my situation but I just have moments of frustration.

[Ghost writer]

Yeah, I get it