Steps

Steps

A Story by Treo LeGigeo
"

She knew it would be a substantial crowd, made up of various friends and family members come to pay their respects, and she knew that she had to join them. She knew this, yet still she hesitated.

"

She stood in front of the old sandstone church, her blood pounding through her veins and her breath catching in her lungs. She was here, she had come, there was no turning back now. Taking a deep breath she forced her feet to move, feeling her heart jolt with each step she took. Weaving absentmindedly through the passing cars that she did not hear, walking gently over the freshly mowed lawn littered with small blooming flowers that she didn't see, up to the carved iron doors that stood solidly shut between her and the crowd. She knew it would be a substantial crowd, made up of various friends and family members come to pay their respects, and she knew that she had to join them. She knew this, yet still she hesitated.

She wasn't quite sure how long she stood there, in front of the door, her stomach churning and her throat threatening to constrict. She had to go inside, they were expecting her. She had no regrets, no unresolved drama, and yet she couldn't stop the anticipation from crawling through her body and gnawing at her insides. Finally, the door swung open.

"Come in," the priest said, ushering her into the church. "They're waiting for you."

Slowly, very slowly, she made her way through the doorway and into the gap between the rows of pews filled with the men and women who watched her enter. Her gaze wandered around the grand interior, roaming over its exquisite tapestries and magnificent stained glass windows, and she couldn't help but contemplate the events that had brought her there.

She remembered the day clearly, how could she not? She could recall with deadly precision the words that had tumbled nervously from solemn lips, the way her heart had stopped. She hadn't thought it possible for a few little words could turn her world completely upside down, she hadn't realised that one little moment could change her life so dramatically. The following weeks had been a frantic blur, eventually clearing away to reveal her standing there, unmoving, in the middle of the church.

The eyes in the room were expectant. Gradually, she lifted one foot and placed it in front of the other, repeating the process in a daze. Her eyes passed over the crowd and the faces she recognised; her parents, her brother, her best friend, each loved one gave her a small reassuring nod as she passed, a silent gesture of support. Step by step she walked down the aisle, until she finally came to a stop after what seemed like an eternity.

The church was silent as she stood at the front of the room, she could feel the prickling, burning gazes of the crowd on her back. She stared resolutely forward, desperately fighting to keep her composure, but she knew she couldn't stay like that forever. Bit by little bit, she began to turn her head, shifting her gaze across the richly decorated walls until it rested on the one she had come to see.

She couldn't help it, she cracked. Seeing him there before her, looking so beautiful and serene dressed in that prim tailored suit, the tears that had been brimming spilled over. She had told herself, promised herself over and over that she wouldn't cry, wouldn't break down in front of everybody. Yet here she was, standing at the front of the church, in front of the whole crowd with rivers of salty water flowing freely down her face. Her heart was pounding so loudly that she was surprised the entire room couldn't hear it, pounding so loudly it almost drowned out the priest's words.

Almost, but not quite.

"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and in the presence of these witnesses, to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony..."

© 2013 Treo LeGigeo


Author's Note

Treo LeGigeo
Something I threw together for English class. The task was to write a short story with 1-2 characters about the concept of "change", and had to be set within a 10 min period. Feedback appreciated, and I'm notoriously bad with proofreading so if you see any typos it would ge great if you could point them out too.

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Reviews

from the first few sentences i loved it. because it feels like the type of writing i do, very descriptive to show an image. i loved it!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Very nice work ... the way you glide from emotion to emotion is superb.

Posted 7 Years Ago


i love how in those short paragraphs you told a beautiful story. i loved the adjectives you used. well done

Posted 7 Years Ago


The adjectives alone made this amazing. Once you add a story line and strong emotional ties you have created a wonderful, well written piece.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Oh those few moments that change forever the destiny of ourselves and all who follow how we hope that we will love them not fear them

Posted 8 Years Ago


I was seriously getting ready to cry. I thought this was going to be a sad and tragic story, but then it turned out to be happy. I love that you were able to trick me like that. This was a great read. It flowed nicely, and there were no mistakes, that I caught anyway. Loved it.

Posted 8 Years Ago


oooh, this beutiful. i really enjoyed the way you built up the tention. it was very well done :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


soooo well written!! bravo! a change seen from two opposite points of view - masterfully presented!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Wow, I really loved this! The way you made it seem as if she were going to a funeral rather than a wedding in the beginning made it a really, really interesting read. Your style is lovely, and the only mistake I found was a very small one: you accidentally put a space before the comma after the word "prickling." Other than that, there aren't any typos to speak of.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Comments: This was a very well written piece. I liked the fact that it started off with the reader thinking she was going to a funeral and then it morphed into her wedding. I loved the twist. Your descriptions are also spot on. I would feel her emotions.

Suggestions: This did not read like a short story to me. It read more like a descriptive scene. As a descriptive scene it was very good, as a story it needed more depth. You can certainly transform this into a story. Have her remember some moments with her groom then have her thing "And then this happened? I never thought it would!" It still leaves the secret of the marriage/funeral open but it extends the story. Have some of the memories be of conflicts the pair has had.

Good job overall. Please review my piece, Pueblo Chico, Infierno Grande. Don't worry it is not in Spanish lol.

Posted 8 Years Ago



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Added on April 8, 2011
Last Updated on April 3, 2013

Author

Treo LeGigeo
Treo LeGigeo

Sydney, NSW, Australia



About
I'm from Australia, so some people may find that I spell things differently. I love writing and have had a couple of publications of short stories and novellas under a pseudonym. I started .. more..

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