Peeking

One of my first poems on the site...

Peeking over the edge;
Sunlight beams forth.
Slashing out my hedge;
Reminds me of my worth.

Seeing her eyes shine;
Rivers flow in my mind.
She smiles, it's time;
Rock softens, waters grind.

Time is running out;
Still it's not right.
I want her with a shout;
I let go without a fight. 

Author's Note

About the challenges of celibacy...

Reviews

[Candid Writer]

This is brilliant. What a way to write about celibacy -- and the pressures surrounding the maintaining of such a status. Your title is very appropriate, because in order to maintain celibacy, one can only go as far as a peek - anything else might go too far. Very nice flow here and your imagery is very good.

[Sean Allen]

As I was unhappy with your use of the word Celibacy and I was checking definitions on Dictionary.com for Celibacy, Chaste, Virgin, etc. I noticed that one definition of Virginal was... 3. pure; unsullied; untouched: a virginal mountain stream. I also noticed that your picture was of flowing water and that you mentioned rivers and water in the poem.

I think of Celibacy more as a religious conviction that has nothing to do with a person of the opposite sex, but with your self and God. It seems to say "I will forgo the carnal pleasures of sex for a closer relationship with God."

Yet your poem is all about a woman who you will see some day and love as you peek over the edge. I think you mean to say that love is more important to you than sex and that when you find your true love, sex will be one of the many things you will share.

What a beautiful poem this is!
sa

[Maxinne Marie]

Nice one. Very pretty. =)

[Melissa M.]

Very interesting. I have to admit this is a subject I don't see often, I think you did well with it. I like the flow of your poem, kind of a controlled rush. You did a fine job in just a few words, I like that.