Simpletons

Happiness shines like the sun
As flowers sing that spring fills the air
Time will flow as we have fun
With games, smiles, and laughter to spare

By now we should be tired
Of glee, fun and careless abandon
But it's by nature we're mired,
Born as such bumbling simpleton's

We can be amused by life
Wearing big smiles for no reason
Besides being free from strife
And that it's a bright sunny season.

So it doesn't make much sense
But we'll all be happy nonetheless,
Letting the sun brainwash us and rinse
Sadness away, and have happiness, endless

Reviews

[Melissa Kliemann]

This is a great concept; very sweet. It made me smile. However, what if you wrote a version that didn't rhyme/have a pattern? I think you get stuck in some parts and end up using words that don't quite fit because of the rhyme scheme. A free verse version might better help to get your point across. Overall, though, this is a nice little picture of summer happiness, and I enjoyed reading it.

P.S. -- Sorry about taking so long on the Summer Stories contest. I just moved and I haven't had the chance yet to sit down and read all the stories. I hope to finish sometime soon, though.

[Jessica Lohman]

I thought this was lovely. Thank you for your words.

[From-the-shadows]

Humans are so predictable. I'm gonna say I don't agree but thats just my opinion. While i can understand M.Bauer is confused, I will agree with Violet and say ignorence is bliss but only when we are ignorant of the fact that we know absolutely nothing.

From-the-shadows

[Michael Bauer]

i'm confused by this because it starts off by quoting cliches right and left: simple thoughts for simple situations -- and, when i read this in a poem, i assume the author's using "irony" -- showing a paradox, here, where the most complicated and unresolved people and situations are summed in a simplistic manner... as though it didn't really matter what was said, but only the "tone" of "how they said it"... and, i suppose that's "irony" revealed. but this verse maintains the same simple minded tone, unusually, and even comments, stupidly, on the stupidity of vapid sayings, using equally vapid cliches: "free of strife"; "big smiles but no reason"; fortune cookie wisdoms. my confusions resolve when i realize the entire thing must be a spoof of the bad writing of sports magazine poems and AARP literary verse, and that this piece does work as satire. a very effective ruse, to pretend to be simpleminded and then do a simple-minded critique of simple-mindedness. i wouldn't change anything... even though at first read it looks like every mind-numbing writing trick is lined up end to end... and here it's good to let the reader stew in their own presumption of what writing is. good work.

[Ed Rector]

This poem seems like it drags on for too long. i suggest that you condese this poem and get more of a to the point additude out of it.

[Paul McCracken]

WOW!! Nice work!!

[Carmen]

lol. Ignorance is bliss isn't it? Sometimes I wish I had more of that... Good job!