Now

I was looking through a clear glass window
Now it's shattered.
I was living in a shell of happiness
Now it's cracked.

She was safe in the tower we built
Now she's alone.
We were happy painting our lives together
Now it chips away.

Together we made a giant happy face
Now a pool of tears.
Apart just isn't the same as before
Now I regret what I've done.

Together we were a picture
Now we're just puzzle pieces
Without her I'm incomplete
Now I need her.

Reviews

[Paul Grimsley]

it struck me that if a window is made of glass the only time you need to mention what type of glass it is would be if that is going to be out of the norm -- for instance frosted glass; clear glass is a description as redundant as white milk. the simple imagery of the first two stanzas although not providing the most novel insight into a situation did work. the third stanza, i have to say, with the giant happy face did appear quite funny and i don't think this was the intention. the last stanza again has simplicity and directness on it's side but the imagery is second hand light which doesn't illuminate the subject as much as a less tried and tested image might.

[Laura E. Aranda]

So desperately sad! What agony! This was a very emotional piece. I have to say it was very very intense! Take care! cheers, lea

[Stacy A. Foster]

Nice imagery. Simple and to the point. I like the relationships in this too (painting and chipping away, the puzzle complete and in pieces, and the window analogy).

Good write!

[Bubo]

Together we made a giant happy face
Now a pool of tears.
Apart just isn't the same as before
Now I regret what I've done.

Lead to what have you done? Because the poem speaks of regret, being incomplete, and something precious crumbling.........imagary with giant happy face, the painting of lives ........lovely.
I like words that make me think..........lead me maybe to my own conclusion...........

[Augusta]

the emotion from happy to sad repeatively messes with my emotions....haha

i like this poem...
i love the simpleness of it all...
yet it still has depth...=)

[Systemic Apathy]

See, now this I like. i like the bafore and after, kind of like a call and response thing. yep i like this one. maybe with the painting line though it could be fades away? don't know what you think of that idea though. i do like this though.

[Terrell A. Pullen]

This shows as a great example of everything being good when love is all brand new. Til it turns old. what do you do when you loose your zeal in the relationship is the question I got after reading this. Everyone reaches that point in love with their other. Where the real question lies is will you stand through the test of time and regain your zeal for the one you love or will you just walk away.

This was a great write, if the story behind this is true, which Im sure it is, stay zealous my friend and pray that God keeps the zeal in her heart. Pass this test and live happily ever after with the love of your life.

[Nicole Clarice Anna Wie..]

Wonderful imagery! Use of words is great! i liked this one a lot. Keep it up :)

[Val Val]

I do not understand how the people that reviewed this before me could type what they typed with a straight face. I don't like this at all. It's hokey and tired. Sorry but its true.

[Lola Marie Magnificient]

Wow, this really struck me. Its so sad, really tears at my heart. This guys life is unraveling, he's losng everything! Great work!