How to review stories!

A year old but still quite valid...

This is the sister guide of my previous article

Stories, unlike poetry, don't use elaborate metaphors, rhyming, or metered verse to convey messages. Instead they use simple, clear language to tell a story whether it is fictional or true. Below, as in my poetry guide, I'll list all the points that I personally look for when I review stories in no particular order.

1. Spelling

This is the point most people should look for first. If the piece has been spell checked already, point out words that their spell check program incorrectly changed or missed altogether. For example, if someone meant to type "staple" and wrote "stable", the spell check program would not correct "stable" as it is a word.

Spell check programs can also be confused. For example, the author might have meant to type "staple" but messed up the spelling, so the program might correct the spelling to "steeple", "maple", or any plethora of different words. If you notice errors like this, the author will be happy to know about them.

If the piece has not been spell checked it will suffice to tell them to do so, maybe suggesting a good program to them. Pointing out each and every spelling error will likely only annoy the author in this case.

2. Sentence Structure (Grammar)

This probably one of the easiest points to notice. It's often due to grammatical errors. Try to determine if there are any sentences that seem jumbled. For example,
"Mary entered the room, she was started to tripping on the doormat and then she screamed."

This example is very obvious. It should be written like this:

"Mary tripped on the doormat as she entered the room, screaming as she stumbled."

Mistakes like this, while maybe not quite this bad, are found all over in stories. Look for them, point them out, and the author will be very thankful.

3. Long or short sentences


Look for any spots in the story where sentences are too short and create a jagged reading, or where they are too long.
For example, an author might have written:

"Joe went to the park. He and his dogs walked on the path. Along the way he stopped to play with them. He threw Frisbees for them to catch."

This is an example of sentences that should be combined to improve flow. It should read this way:

"Joe took his dogs on a walk in the park. Along the way, he stopped and played catch with his dogs using Frisbees."

On the other end of the spectrum, we might see something like this:

"Jim came home from work and put his wallet, cell phone and keys on the table and then walked to the kitchen where his wife, who was cooking stew asked him how his day was and whether he remembered to buy tomatoes on his way home."

This is an example of a sentence that is so long it doesn't allow us to stop and pause on the contents. It might be rewritten this way:

"Jim came home from work and put his wallet, cell phone and keys on the table. When he entered the kitchen his wife was cooking stew. She asked him how his day was and whether he remembered to buy tomatoes on his way home."

By splitting this sentence into three, it allows us to stop and take in the information. Look for sentences that are long or short. Point them out and correct them and you'll have performed a valuable service to the author.


4. Telling/Detail

The general rule in stories is "Show Don't Tell". You'll want to be looking for anywhere that the author "tells" us what's happening instead of "showing" us. Here is an example of "Telling":

"Sharas hefted his axe and walked down the hall, looking for any signs of Orcs. He couldn't see very well so it was hard to find them, but he saw some tracks. A sound came from behind him and he turned around quickly."

At first glance this might seem to be an ok passage. However, if you examine it you will quickly see that the author is just telling us what's happening instead of showing us, putting us inside the environment. In order to be more involving, this passage might be rewritten this way:

"Sharas hefted his axe as the ring of his metal boots resonated off the stone passageway's walls. The hair on the back of his neck stood straight up as the scent of an Orc reached his nose, his face twisting in disgust at the acrid odor. If it was anywhere close, he could be in real trouble. Squinting hard, he peered at the dusty tiles underfoot, trying to find tracks in the consuming darkness. The dying light from the torches burning on the walls flickered wildly, revealing a faint set of three toed tracks stamped in the dust. A guttural growl escaped from his throat; they looked fresh. There would be no way to avoid a fight now. I wouldn't be surprised if it's watching me right now...Listening to the ringing silence, he heard a sound he would recognize anywhere; the scrape of a sword being drawn from its sheath. It must be hoping to sneak up on me from behind. It probably would have worked if I didn't have such sharp ears. Bracing for battle, he swung around, thrashing his axe wildly in an attempt to claim the creature's head..."

See how much detail can be put into what used to be just three sentences? By adding more sights, sounds, details, actions, etc. the passage can be rewritten in such a way that we see and feel what is going on. That is the rule "Show Don't Tell" successfully applied. If you find places in a story where an author is telling instead of showing, point these places out and show them how to correct it. If the author is telling through the WHOLE story, it might suffice to pick a few passages to correct and tell the author to use your suggestions in those passages as a model for the rest of the story.

If the author is writing a first person story, things are a little different. The "Show Don't Tell" rule still applies, but when you offer suggestions you'll have to remember to keep the first person perspective in your suggested improvements.

Here is a first person passage:
"On Monday I woke up and got dressed for work. I was so tired that I forgot to tuck my shirt in or grab my wallet on my way out."
Here is a third person passage:
"On Monday Steve woke up and got dressed for work. He was so tired that he forgot to tuck his shirt in or grab his wallet on his way out."

Here is the corrected first person passage:
"On Monday I stumbled out of bed, throwing my dress shirt and pants on as usual for work. I was so tired, however, that I forgot to grab my wallet and my shirt was only half tucked in as I dragged myself out the door."
Here is the correct third person passage:
"On Monday Steve stumbled out of bed, throwing his dress shirt and pants on as usual for work. He was so tired, however, that he forgot to grab his wallet and his shirt was only half tucked in as he dragged himself out the door."


5. Tense

There are three tenses that we can write in: past tense, present tense, and future tense. Most stories are written in past tense, as in: "He *woke* up and *got* dressed for work." Some stories are written in present tense, as in: "*Climbing* out of bed, he *starts* *getting* dressed for work." While a story might technically be written in future tense, as in: "He *will* climb out of bed and proceed to *get* dressed", stories are not written in future tense. Mostly when you review a story you'll be watching for whether the writer uses present or past tense in the narrative, and whether it is consistently used.

Here is an example of inconsistent tense:
"Jeremy was very scared. He is starting to get butterflies in his stomach."

The previous example used both present and past tense, which is a no no for stories as it confuses the reader. It should be corrected to either of the following:

Jeremy was very scared. Butterflies started forming in his stomach. (OR) Jeremy is very scared. Butterflies are beginning to form in his stomach.

Try to find which tense the writer uses most often, and correct any inconsistencies accordingly. Writers always appreciate these insights.


6. Repetitive Use of Words


Variety is key in any piece of writing. If you find that the writer is using the same adjectives or verbs, point it out and suggest alternatives. Some of the most common overused verbs are walking, talking, moving, etc. You might say a character walked here, walked there, or you could say he stomped here, trotted there. Of course, the words you use have to fit the context. For example, a character wouldn't stomp if he was in a good mood.


7. Believable Storyline


This is a BIG one. I've seen many stories where characters who barely know each other start acting like buddies because that's what the author had planned for them. In reality, if two people meet it will take some time for them to become friends. I've even seen characters who were mortal enemies on minute become traveling companions the next. When you read a story, try to analyze whether the story is believable or not. Are there lots of unexplained oddities that would never happen in real life? Do a whole bunch of coincidences "conveniently" happen? If the storyline isn't believable to you, let the author know. Tell them what doesn't seem real, and show them how to make it better. This is one of the greatest faults of writing, especially in fantasy, science fiction, and horror genres.


8. Believable Dialogue


This is closely related to the previous point. Try to imagine the conversations that you find in the story happening in real life. If you can't imagine real people saying what the author has his characters saying then there is a good chance his dialogue is not believable. Tell the author where the characters speech is unusual and suggest to him how to improve it.

This list is by no means exhaustive. There are likely many points in addition to this that can be used in giving constructive reviews, but it is my hope that this guide will at least provide a basic help to you story reviewers out there.

Reviews

[Atlanta Carter]

This is quite good, and I have little to say about what you've included. However, I would also expect to comment about a few missing items: firstly, dialog tags, whether they are missing, over-used, confusing or fussy. I find that few writers have successfully cracked that, including myself. In addition, you didn't discuss the use of present and past perfect tenses. I've read texts cautioning against their over-use. I'm ambivalent about it, but if something glaring comes up, I'll flag it for the author.

Finally, description. You mention it briefly, but too many authors skimp on description. As a reader, I like to get the complete picture, so I can visualize as I follow along. That means using all the senses and supplying names when the narrator knows them. I've read so many stories where names are completely omitted. The man did this, his best friend did that, the woman in the blue dress ... I can understand having a first person narrator not divulge his name - I've done that myself - but naming as many other important characters as possible helps both clarity and flow.

While I'm on description, it drives me crazy when an author just stops all the action and describes things. I find it's better to make the description active, as you did in your "showing" example. Active, efficient description makes showing so much easier and logical, while keeping the story moving.

This is a good start. Hopefully, many will read and take this to heart.

[Gary A Wilson]

This is defintiely a good beginning to understand how to construct a review. Like you said there are more points to consider, and something like that would take years to write and read through. Hopefully more people here will read it before their next review

well done

[Brian Osterhouse]

Exceedingly helpful. Keeping this in mind as I write. Especially the show don't tell part.

[Malenkov]

Very good and helpful!

[IMOGEAN]

Thank you for your submission to:

Articles On Writing

The winner, ultimately will be decided by user votes. I loved this! Thank you...

Good luck, and God Bless...

Norma Gean

[Sharp Spear]

Thanks so much!! I found this very helpful!

[Sandy]

hey thanks for sharing! i'll keep this in mind next time i'm reviewing and even writing my own stuff down. that point about "show dont tell" is really helpful!

[[untitled]]

I knew a lot of this beforehand but the way in which you present the information makes it a great deal easier to understand. I myself have a problem with tense consistency and I appreciate the examples like crazy. You certainly did a good job at not only suppling them but describing how different aspects of writing work, and how to deal with and correct them which is great. I'm definitely logging this into my library for future reference. Bravo!

[Gandré]

Great job, dear! My favorite.
Thank you that you shared with us.

I wasn't here for one week. Now I am.
Sorry for reviewing so late.

love, lara.

[Krystal Waters]

Thanks Ben! Loved this, and it's going into my faves!

Krystal

[Maria Retz]

I really like to read your advices with how to review, especially as it helps us to look for the same mistakes in our own stories.

Thanks for sharing

goes to favourite of course :-)