The Curse

The Curse

A Story by Truths reflection
"

What happens when a curse on couples is at a university.

"
It was my first day at university. I was so nervous and excited at the same time. My first class was chemistry. We were asked to form pairs to do an experiment so the guy sitting next to me asked me to be with him and I accepted. While we were doing the experiment I had a strange feeling. I guess that was the moment I started liking him. After the class we had a break. I sat on a table in the cafeteria alone because I didn’t have any friends yet. Suddenly I saw that guy coming to my table and he told me that he forgot to tell me that he's Mark. I smiled and said that my name is Amy. He asked me to sit with me and of course I told him that he surely could. We had a small conversation before his friends came and took him.
Day by day, we became closer. I really liked how he understood me and how he liked me the way I was without changing. I was the most real me with him.
One day, an older girl named Sasha came and told me to be careful. I didn't understand what she meant. “A long time ago, Hanna, a very beautiful popular girl liked a boy who liked another girl although she wasn't popular and nobody liked her. When she knew this she put a curse on this university that any two who love each other will have bad luck until they break up.”she explained. I really got scared and I went to my friend Lauren in a hurry and told her what Sasha said. She calmed me down and said that this thing is silly and that I shouldn't believe in it.
The next morning, Mark was late so I called him to see what's wrong. He told me that he had his cars tires got flat , and that he would be at the university soon.

I went to the cafteria to get a cup of nescafe after my chemistry lecture still wondering why he is so late. Just when I started walking sasha bumped into me and the whole nescafe cup spilled on my dress, i was so embarrassed and i didnt know whay to do. My eyes started tearing up, and i couldn't see clearly all i wanted was to get out of the cafteria as fast i can, when a familiar voice just cut my thought it was Mark he finally came, but what would he think if he saw me that way? Then i remebered the curse ,and tears started flowing through my eyes like a river. He didnt know what to do so he hugged me and tried to assure me i managed to say between sobs this one sentence " The curse is real, why did this happen to me otherwise? " he asked me which curse, but i didnt answer instead i ran away. The rest of the story as i heard it from him was that he asked which curse, and Lauren told him luckily he had an older brother who was this university's graduate and he told him about this curse before, where a girl used to tell it to another if she feels that her crush likes another girl and she likes him back, and the tire deflation and the coffee where all planned to let me get away from Mark.

After he embarrassed Sasha infront of the whole university, by shaming her on what she did with me publicly, he went to find me. As we were close friends he knew exactly where to find me, in our secret hideout.

After he found me told me to wear his jacket and to go with him to his car, because he is going to drive me home and let me get changed and then drive me back again to the university, i was in a position where i couldnt disagree so i went with him.

After we reached i told him that i would be right back and went to get cleaned and changed i think it took me about 15 minutes.

Meanwhile in these 15 minutes

Marka P. O. V
I love her . I should confess. I want her to be mine. But will she accept? Will she love me back? I want her oh im so aching for her. Since the day i met her i knew i fell for her i wanted her to be mine and only mine.

These thoughts kept ging through my mind when i noticed a flower shop at the end of the road, so i decided to risk my chances.

Amys P. O. V

I got down and he was waiting for me. When i entered the car I sat down he didnt start the engine, so i asked him what was wrong he didnt reply, then suddenly, out of nowhere he took out a red rose, and held it infront of me and told me those three magic words " I love You " i was shocked beyond believe, so after all this, my feelings were actually returned, but i was so embarrassed to say it back so I just stared at him with a face as red as that flower.
He put the flower in front of me, and started driving to the university.
When we reached there i had to go because i had a math lecture in 5 min so after i went down of the car i kept the door a little ajar and then i told him thses words exactly
" Thank you so much for the ride, I really appreciate it, and one more thing I love you too" he smiled that stunning smile that i loved, but then i closed the door and rushed away, and that curse was the start to our blooming relationship. We got married 2 years ago, we have one daughter, and we our waiting our son to come in April.

© 2017 Truths reflection


Author's Note

Truths reflection
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You have a great base for a beautiful story. However, you are lacking some much needed description! When writing, even short stories, you want to create an image in your reader's mind, and I definitely struggled with that while reading. Do not rush things so quickly, adding details you may find minuscule is a key to good writing. Keep working and surely you will improve!

Posted 5 Years Ago


I think that it's a good start but like i said before. Description, description, description. You have a good plot, but you have to make the readers see what you are seeing and that's where description comes in. The plot tells the story, but the description makes the characters come to life. It does no good to have a really good plot if you don't describe to the readers what they are reading. Remember, it's not a movie so they can't see what you are seeing by just looking at it. You have to paint the picture for them to understand. You need to describe the scenery, the characters face, and their actions. Just act like you are describing it to a blind man who has been blind his entire life. That will give you good description. Also you should take your time. Don't try to rush your work because at the end that's what it seemed like. Take your time and take us through each scene. I don't want you to think that i am insulting you because i do it to and i have to watch out for that. Just slow down and take your time with your scenes so that way you are showing people your best work. And the last thing is vary your sentence length and word choice. Don't use a bunch of third grade sentences because that will make the story seem choppy and it will turn the reader off. You can use some short sentences, medium sentences, and long, complex sentences. Just look up sentence structure. And the same is true for word choice. Don't use the same word over and over again because that makes it redundant and again turns the reader off. You don't have to use a bunch of hard to pronounce million dollar words because then the reader won't wanna read it because they can't pronounce it and they don't know what it means. I'm saying you should widen your vocabulary if you know what i mean.

All in all, good start and with development it is a great story. Thank you for taking the time to read my comment.

Posted 5 Years Ago



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Added on February 7, 2017
Last Updated on February 7, 2017

Author

Truths reflection
Truths reflection

Amman, Middle east, Jordan



About
Hi I'm a student at high school obsessed with writing short stories and novels. Read my writing and tell me what you think. I appreciate criticism, because I want to improve. more..

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