Dying Daffodils.

A submission for a Writer's Cafe contest~ First time contesting ^^

She was standing there without any clothes, panting heavily as she paused for breath.

There was no time to grab what little she had.

There was no other chance for her to break free.

This time, for sure, she will succeed.

A field of daffodils, that could have bloomed ever so radiantly, cruelly scorched dry by Sun's rays, lacking in water, left to die. Slowly.

She must succeed.

Moving with caution, as if a little sound would trigger off a disaster, despite feeling drained of all energy. All motivation. All hope. She needed to find it, then follow the discrete passageway that will lead her to where she could buy a slip of paper allowing her to take a moving machine away from here. Away from all suffering and scary men. 

A presence from behind made her swiftly turn around, to be faced with a lonely stray beast rummaging the trash bins. It reminded her of herself, all alone with no one to rely on but her own will. Or whatever that is left of it. 

"Search over there! You, start from here! I'm sure she couldn't have gone far with that body of hers," The cold, vile voice echoed through the dark alleys, sending plenty more chills down her spine. "How daring of her. Next to be fractured would be her ribs! We'll see who will succumb first," He shouted as he spat onto the ground with frustration.

The unnamed girl crawled towards the huge haystack behind a certain farm. She was sure that they were here. Lumps of hay were pushed to the side in her frantic search. Just then, as if chancing upon great treasure, she hurriedly brought her secret stash of clothes and gilda* close to her chest, repeatedly chanting a thankful prayer in her mind, tears of joy filling her eyes and falling like precious pearls. 

Rain clouds that rarely came above, began to shower the dying daffodils. They had a chance to bloom again.

She is succeeding. She knew it with her heart. She would be free. 

Quickly sliding her tattered cotton dress on, she felt her stomach knotting as time ticked on.

She knew full well that danger was not out of range just yet. She had to hurry.

Sliding the slate door aside, she crawled through the hole in the wall that her meek and emaciated body could pass through. The unnamed girl began emerging from the hole towards the side of freedom.

The light shower evolved into a thunderous rainstorm. The daffodils that were almost revived began to be uprooted and drowned.

Her gilda fell out of her hands. They danced around in their own little circles. Her limp body in his cruel and dirtied arms. Her life of child prostitution - fated to go on. 

The field of withering daffodils finally died.

Author's Note

*"gilda" is their currency
"Daffodils" represent "Hope" ^^

Reviews

[Lonely Islander]

Soo so true...just so true and touchy...so sad and at the end of it i almost knew that she can get out of it...a dying daffodil is what she was...good job:):):D.

[T*Fuyumi]

I'm glad I managed to tingle some emotions in readers.. :'DD Cause I never thought I would one day be able to~! Thank you again!!

[Lonely Islander]

:-):-):-D.

[Lonely Islander]

:-):-):-D.

[JP Lubbert]

its great i love the rhythm of the story, the action followed by the pause in the symbolism of the daffodils. i was hoping for the character to make it but i find it interesting when they don't, its kind of a twist to reality that tells the reader o right not every story has a happy ending and they have to think about it. i love it when that happens and you did it in a beautiful way. that contest its getting popular but with this story i think you have a great chance, hope i get to read more of your stuff its great

[T*Fuyumi]

thank you for responding to my read request! Yay! :'D And I'm really glad the symbolism parts worked out okay ((: Yeahhh a tragic end seemed more eye-opening to me too :D Thank you for your assurance and guidance!!

[Craig2591]

A sad story. I liked the mystery of what is going on. She almost made it. So sad she didn't.

I saw this story in the contest you entered. I also entered it.

[T*Fuyumi]

Thank you! This is my first time writing a tragedy sort of thing, yet, I gave it a cruel end rather than a happy one~ I'm glad it wasn't too bad! ^^
Ooooo cool! I'll check yours out too! ((:

-T*Fuyumi