♥ ►Without You◄ ♥

♥ ►Without You◄ ♥

A Poem by Gregory Hill
"

Hey guys, Hope you like it, any mistakes please tell be so that I can edit. Thanks for the reviews.

"

I wish you would listen,

I wish you would see,

Someone to fill,

The hole thats in me.

 

I need you to love,

I need you to live,

I need you to hear,

I need you my Dear.

 

Will you always be there?

Will you be there to share?

Will you feel my pain?

Will you keep me sane?

 

But no one has listened,

No one has cared,

No one has saved me,

No, no one is there.

 

Perhaps I'm just selfish,

Maybe that's true,

But I just cannot live,

If I'm without you.

 

© 2009 Gregory Hill


Author's Note

Gregory Hill
Please help with any mistakes, I know there is a lot.

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Featured Review

"Will you always be there?
Will you be there to share?"

if it was me, i would put here instead of there...
as the word there feels like your dear is far away, not somewhere close (physically or in the heart)...
here would show that he/she is close by, able to share your feelings, your pain your burden

but then again that is just a nitpick ^-^;

Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

"Will you always be there?
Will you be there to share?"

if it was me, i would put here instead of there...
as the word there feels like your dear is far away, not somewhere close (physically or in the heart)...
here would show that he/she is close by, able to share your feelings, your pain your burden

but then again that is just a nitpick ^-^;

Posted 14 Years Ago


Still love it!
What are you changing about it though?
It says you edit it but the only difference, I think, is the name.
Anyway, it was great!
Keep writing,
Nightmare

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Great job, I really think this is great, you are going to be a great poet, keep writing, it doesn't flow that great though

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Great poem! I love it.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really really liked this!
It was amazing and feeled with so much emotion.
It flowed beautifully

By the way, you don't suck at writing poetry.
Quite good at it, acually.
In my opinion.

Keep writing,
-Midnight

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

tis good ^_^

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Your getting better at poems...

(lol)

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wonderful, especially for someone who doesn't write poetry. I admire your bravery to rhyme, which is something I absolutely refuse to try to do.

I really liked the line:
Will you feel my pain?
Will you keep me sane?

That is really cute!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

OMG... ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL...
SUCH A TRAGIC LOVE POEM..
BUT FROM THIS I CANT TELL THAT YOU DONT WRITE POETRY!
I LOVE IT AS IS!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 14 Years Ago



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887 Views
23 Reviews
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Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on April 21, 2009
Last Updated on April 29, 2009
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Author

Gregory Hill
Gregory Hill

Fallbrook, CA



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