Your Love Killed Me

A girl in love by someone who doesn't know she exists dies to get his attention

His blue eyes light up my night sky
His radiant smile brightens my dark world
If only he could see through me

His sound makes my hardened heart fly
His beauty leaves breathless and silent
Why can't he set my spirit free

To love one and not be loved back
I don't exist in his perfect heaven
I am nowhere in any realm

So I leave known by nobody
Alone and worthless and longing for him
If he came I would still be here

Nobody comes to me
Now i pull the trigger
And leave in this moment

Goodbye to no one
Goodbye to nothing
Do I exist now?

Author's Note

I'll take any criticism no matter how harsh

Reviews

[HaleythePoet]

I really liked your poem even though it was sad. I would add a bit more to it though about how he did not love her back because it left me wondering if there was more of a story to it. It was really good though!

[Olivia Knightmare]

thank you so much for reviewing my poem! and thats a good idea and i was thinking of expanding and changing it into a full story! thanks for your good criticism XD