Chapter Seven

I'm also working on this characters a lot. I know I should have done this BEFORE I started writing, but when I started writing, I didn't really know who everyone was

           I felt dreamlike, I hadn't a care in the world, until something hit my forehead. It hit me with great force and I yelped, putting my hand to it immediately. It rattled my skull and gave me an instant headache. I thought I felt blood where I had been hit, but it might have just been the sweat that was dripping down my cheeks. I lowered my fingers to where I could see them, and saw that I was correct. There was only clear liquid on my finger tips.
            I was suddenly aware of my surroundings, instead of just the charcoal gems. There was no sweet music in the background to wash away my cares, and the gems seemed more menacing than ever. The stone walls around me were crumbling, bits and blocks of them falling into the lava and then melting away into the redness. Alec's hands were around my arm, pulling me unsuccessfully for the last minute that I had been unconscious, I guessed. He was still screaming my name and telling me that I needed to help him move me to safety. I supposed that I had been planted to the stone ground, so astounded by the gems, that I had not moved an inch. I glanced back at the gems-which I now just noticed-were not grasped by the mermaid's unbreakable stone hand, but were floating in the air, while the mermaids chant still echoed around the crumbling stone walls. But what had happened to the mermaid herself? At that moment I wasn't very eager to discover the news. I let Alec drag me along for a moment, and then picked up my feet, grabbed Alec's sleeve, and bolted towards safety.
            I began to run across the bridge and then stopped. It had begun to rock from side to side, slowly-but I knew that wouldn't last for long.
            "Alec!" I began to scream, hurling myself against the bridge's floor. "Lie down, and hold on!" Before I could finish, his stomach was against the bridge, and his knuckles were white from clenching its boards.
            By the time all this had happened, the bridge was already swinging from side to side forcefully. I was clinging to it, trying to keep from falling off. I pressed my head against the rough wood and closed my eyes. I was beginning to feel sick and my head was throbbing; but the bridge cared not for my nerves. It continued to sway, higher and higher it went..I was reminded of when my sister took me onto a ride at my favorite amusement park. It was almost exactly like the swinging bridge, but without the lava and life-threatening feel.
             "Abby!" I heard Alec shout. I opened my eyes and was in time to see a brown wall of dirt inches away from my face, and feel a great blow to my whole body. My feet were dangling, and every few seconds something would lightly tap them. Following the slight knock, a grunt would reach my ears. I looked down and saw Alec dangling on the fallen bridge, my feet inches away from his head.
             "Sorry.."I said breathlessly.
             "At a time like this, that's all you have to say?" He let out a small chuckle of panic.
             I slid my gaze away from Alec and to the lava below which was now bubbling and splattering in various directions. Alec was only a few feet away from it. Fear and alarm washed through me. We needed to get out of here, and as Alec said, NOW.
              "Actually..that's not all I have to say. We need to start climbing if we wanna live and not get fried alive."I glared at the scorching lava for a split second and then nudged my head upward towards the clear blue sky and the sandy cliff. I then looked down at Alec. He had gone completely stiff; not moving a single muscle.
               "Alec what's-" He cut in.
               "You want us to climb? Not that I want to stay here, but do you have any idea how unstable this thing is?!" Alec spat.
                I rolled my eyes. "Ugh, stop complaining, Alec! You have two choices, A) stay here and certain your death, or B) climb up the dang bridge and live! And seeing as how I'm not letting you choose A, your coming with me!" I kicked his head slightly with my foot and then pulled on the board I was holding onto. "See? It's strong" I reassured him. "Just don't look down or think about the whole 'If you fall you'll get fried alive' thing."
               "Haha. You're so funny. Just start moving before I change my mind and decide to stay here." Said Alec dryly.
               I moved my arm up to the board that was ahead of the one I was grasping and grabbed it. Pulling myself up, I asked "And why would you do that?"
               Alec started moving as I did. "I like the view." He snorted.
               I did the same. "Ah yes, I'm sure my foot being shoved into your nostrils is just grand. Oh! And don't forget about the boiling lava just ten feet away!" He laughed nervously and I started moving swiftly up the bridge.
    My arm stretched upward to grab the plank that was only a few feet away from safety, but I misinterpreted in distance; my hand slipped. I shrieked and my nails scratched at a plank nearby for comfort, but found nothing. I was holding on with one arm, and it was growing weaker.
    I heard Alec take in a short breath as the bridge began to snap in many places. "I think that's our queue to leave. I doubt we're welcome anymore." His voice was shaky. He began to scale the splitting bridge, and was soon at my side. He clasped my fallen hand and set it on the board I had been reaching for. "Now lets get out of here." He ascended up the bridge effortlessly; and I followed close behind him. When he reached the top, he grabbed onto the first bridge's plank. He half pulled half dragged himself up so he was lying face-down on it. He took in a few short breaths and then jumped up to assist me. I outstretched my hand toward him and he yanked me up. My feet were scrabbling; trying to find some ground to help myself up, but there was nothing. My actions were meaningless; Alec pulled me up easily and then collapsed onto the first bridge's unharmed floor. I did the same and tried to slow my noisy breathing. I was silently amazed by how perfect and untouched this bridge still seemed.  
    I took in a deep breath and then heard a very sharp snapping sound. I sprang to my feet and looked over the edge of where the bridge had been. I was just in time to see its decent into the blistering lava. I was amazed by what I saw. When the bridge plunged into the bubbling mass, it did not dissolve. It was just floating there, with a thick layer of translucent lava set neatly on top. It did not liquify and become part of the clear, blood red magma, but just lie there.
    I did not notice Alec quietly come to my side until he opened his mouth to speak. He hesitated, "..Now that's something you don't see everyday."
    I burst out laughing, I found this hysterical. Alec looked at me with a confused expression on his pale face. "After all we've been through,"I began, wiping the tears from my eyes. "You choose to use those words, NOW?" He considered my remark, and then began to laugh as well.
    Our laughter was broken off seconds later by a loud snarl that came from right in front of us, but I could not detect anything but the bubbling lava with my eyes. Although there was nothing there that we could see, we both froze anyway, terrified. Seconds later I felt a hard blow to my whole body. I was thrown backwards, my head being slammed onto the first bridges solid boards, the wind being knocked out of me; my limbs went numb instantly. I was barely aware of my now pounding head..my aching body..I was being pulled into the darkness again. Only this blackness was even more painless than the first. It did not frighten me at all..I was glad when it took control over all my senses and let me drift into a peaceful, seemingly harmless, place.
 

Author's Note

I'm also working on the characters a lot. I know I should have done this BEFORE I started writing, but when I began writing, I didn't really know who everyone was. Now that I've begun writing and-in a way-gotten to know the characters, I know where I want to take them. Like it said before, I'll edit this more later and add that stuff in.

Reviews

[Cole Spire]

You have a repetative vibe with all the lava mentioned. But that can be changed to make it less repetative and more exciting. i noticed you tried to add suspense into this with the slip of the hand. Good job. It wasn't a catch your breath gasp type of suspense, but it was there.

The humor is a little missplaced in this. I think the joke after it is all said and done was marvelous, but the comments during give your characters the feel of "Not worried about falling to my doom." You lose that sense of danger that you need the readers to feel for your characters. If there is no sense of danger, even early on in the book, then the reader will not be able to attach themselves and relate with the characters.

You left us with a nice hook though, so i will read on.

[Forist.johnston]

It's interesting, but also a bit repetitive. Check spelling but keep writing, your on a roll. =]

[Nazarea]

I'm gonna read and write notes at the same time...gimme a few minutes.