Without You

Lost without the one who held your heart.

My nerves start to shake my hands
Anxiety flies in and lands
Being calm has been and gone
Who just turned the heater on?

My heart starts to pick up pace
By the thought of your unkind face
My brain tells me to take a seat
It was at this spot that we did meet

Nausea starts to take over my mind
If you came what would you find
At this spot we did meet
Now I've fallen off my feet...

Author's Note

what do you think?

Reviews

[Tai Ryens]

Tone wise, you've paced the poem quite well. However, to me at least, it does seem to be unorganized concept-wise. Thoughts seem to fly over here and there, but in some strange way, the pace is fine. I do not know if I make any sense at all. My apologies if I don't.

[Twistedme]

I can see what you mean, I was a bit " I 'll put that here and put that there" but overall I thought it gave the right impression. I'm sure you can see what this poem follows Tai :P

[Ivy]

I really like this. The emotions come across in really strong way the breaks your heart. Well done :)

[Twistedme]

Thanks Ivy

[Jessica]

I like how you repeat 'At this spot we did meet'. Lovely poem!

[Twistedme]

Thanks Jess (: