Brain Cell

I am living inside my head as a prisoner in her cell

Trapped by the thoughts that keep me awake through the night

Insomnia sits outside my door, knocking at a steady tempo

Not slow enough to fall asleep to, not fast enough to make me want to stay awake

And listen to the song that my brain has created

The one that repeats itself throughout the days and nights

 

The floor of my cell is covered so that it can barely be seen

In fact there are thoughts everywhere that I can hardly breathe

Slowly suffocating me as they creep higher as the days pass by

And I’m stuck here sentenced to infinite time

Oblivion has never looked so sweet

As I try to sweep away the mess around my feet

 

Speaking does not come easily when judgment is passed before the words come out

Stopping my tongue dead in its tracks, my mind cracks the whip

And I am silenced again by the extra presence that exists

My body is free but my soul is lost among the sea

And no one can hear your mind scream; it takes a voice for them to see

That you’ve given yourself to that sea for free

 

Sinking deeper into the blue that turns black

Drowning isn’t so bad when you don’t want to go back

And no these words are not beautiful they are the truth

Living in this reality as angst filled youth is not a thing of beauty

It is an empty wasteland where the tumbleweeds roll by

The people that were once here have turned a blind eye

 

Fear has crept into their hearts as it has crept into our minds

None of us understand what this virus is so we reject it

And we the affected are left lying in our beds unaccepted

Ridden with guilt for being bed-ridden by the invisible puppeteer

Society is perplexed so we will continue to lie here with fear rushing through our veins

 

Will this empty pain ever go away?

There is nothing left to drain from my existence

All of me has been wrung out until I am exhausted

Of being held hostage by the reflection in the mirror

While the bottom of the sea becomes clearer and clearer

Descending towards the unknown, suffering in silence, together alone