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A Poem by Anonymous

The two masochists...

My lovely,
Open your arms to me,
Take me in your grasp
And rip my heart away.

I smile with bloody lips,
Laughter filling my lungs
As the sweet agony of love
Pours down the walls.

My pain is your remedy,
So shoot away, my dearest
Take blood and write your name
All over my battered brain.

Giggles erupt as you cut
Into the flesh of my arms
And carve a poem of love.

Boil my sanity away in a stew
And chew hungrily at my mind.
Kiss my fingertips gently,
As you slide the glass
Down my neck.

Open doors and show the world
The masterpiece of your love
In written words of crimson
Sliced into my skin.

I kiss your lips with joy
At the sight of your smile
And the hot gush of blood.

Imprint your endearment,
Show off your kindness
As the glass

© 2011 Anonymous

Author's Note

Excuse the quality. This was written fairly quick.

My Review

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Posted 8 Years Ago

I guess I'm not much for sadomasochism.

This didn't do it for me, but not because it was a bad poem. It was quite well written in fact. I like the imagery you were able to convey, even if it was gruesome. Aside from the self harm throughout, only one other thing caught my eye that I didn't like. I felt that your use of the word 'blood' was a bit much and thought I don't quite agree with AmethystRain about using the word 'crimson', as it is a favorite of mine, it is overused.

Perhaps you could switch things up in the future by using rouge, burgundy or another favorite, carmine to describe the color. As for the word blood you could try; wine, elixir, sanguine, or essence. These of course are the most common I think. Better still would be to use a completely unrelated word to describe them.

Either way, nicely written. Even if I don't much care for the subject matter.

Posted 8 Years Ago

I think i understand this. As long as the one you love is happy even if it kills you your happy. I feel this way right now and thats what makes me feel selfish for wishing he would pick me anyways.

Posted 8 Years Ago

Great imagery, and rather perplexing for something written quickly. Good job, keep it up.

Posted 8 Years Ago

This is wickedly sinister. I can imagine the scene very well. The deliciously erotic imagery and oxymorons are lush. I only have an issue with the word 'crimson' to describe blood, it's so overdone xD. Other than that, I enjoyed the erotic flavour of this.

Posted 8 Years Ago

i love this. i wish i could write like this. my writing isnt nearly as good as this.

Posted 8 Years Ago

I'm stunned. :3 It's such a dark piece of poetry... I really liked it! All the words just flowed and fit really nicely. Even if you did write it quickly, I still thought it was good! I have to wonder what you were thinking about when you were writing, but I still loved it! As I've said, you've never failed to surprise and amaze me. Keep on writing, my friend!

Posted 8 Years Ago

Love this dark tease of the forbidden...there is a seductive quality about
this in a twisted, sick way...very good job!!

Posted 8 Years Ago

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9 Reviews
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on July 18, 2011
Last Updated on July 18, 2011
Tags: masochist, love, pain, glass, agony, kindness, destruction, talent



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