Black Coal

Black Coal

A Poem by Serena Kaye

Black tears falling,

Heart sinking,

Body trembling,

Is this what I’ve become?

Knowing you have another,

A kiss from your lips,

To a demon in a custom,

Is my sweet suicide,

What a lullaby,

An unedifying tune,

Melody of the dead,

My tune is broken,

Metronome has come to a halt,

Shivering up,

Blood to ash,

Skin to ash,

All to ash,

Yet,

Heart to stone,

Black as coal,

© 2012 Serena Kaye


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Reviews

a truly moving piece which got stronger and stronger throughout. the ending had me going 'wow'.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Serena Kaye

7 Years Ago

Heh, thank you.
Wow, this is such a sad poem. Your words portray the sense of someone who has resigned herself to death in very interesting metaphors and phrases. The last two lines have impact. Very well done.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Serena Kaye

7 Years Ago

Thanks. Heh.
Crossroads

7 Years Ago

Your welcome.
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!!! I have reviewed so much stuff since I have been on here and this is just one of the most powerful and terrifyingly strong writes I have ever seen!!! I can feel you just pumping your fist in the air with such furious anger to the beat of this poem...I tell you Suicide I don't do this often hardly enough to even count on my fingers...But I have to give this a 98 overall...That is rare!!! You might say what about a 99...I've only given out two of them LoL But anyway back to the point...This is absolutely terrific!!! Keep up the good writing!!!

Posted 7 Years Ago


Serena Kaye

7 Years Ago

Wow!
Thank you so much!(:
Moving poem - I enjoyed it - Thanks for sharing!

Posted 7 Years Ago


Serena Kaye

7 Years Ago

Thanks and you're welcome!
I like this one :) especially the last six lines. Alot of emotions,good job Suicide.

Posted 7 Years Ago


It's amazing how you easily channeled your thoughts and feelings at such a young age into words and convey them into the hearts of your readers. This is a moving piece.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Serena Kaye

7 Years Ago

Thank you.
A unique take on one of the most painful situations there is...a nicely-written piece.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Serena Kaye

7 Years Ago

Heh, thank you!
kublakhan27

7 Years Ago

No problem :)
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The last two lines are magnificent. Your words and emotions intensify your entire poem until the last period. Great job

Posted 7 Years Ago


Serena Kaye

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much!
very good this, you and I are definitely not singing from the same song sheet are we? You have a wonderful way with words and paint a very grim picture indeed..and you paint is vividly and so well

Posted 7 Years Ago


Dr. Wood ?

7 Years Ago

I was not being critical, we write what we write. I DO compose some pretty grim stuff myself but I w.. read more
Serena Kaye

7 Years Ago

I know you're not.
Ha, that's just how some people are.
Dr. Wood ?

7 Years Ago

Just keep on writing...I never stop in my head....I know all my stuff is the same but it does not st.. read more
"Blood to ash, Skin to ash, All to ash," amazing and deep lines. I just love those lines in the whole poem~

Posted 7 Years Ago


Serena Kaye

7 Years Ago

Thanks.

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Added on August 18, 2012
Last Updated on August 18, 2012