My Secret

This is a monologue that I wrote for a character I created for my Drama class.

I have a secret; it’s pressing against the back of my lungs - like your tongue presses against your teeth when you have something you need to say, but don’t. No longer can I keep my tongue bound to my teeth - I have to say it. I want to change. That’s my secret; I’m not happy with who I am - Not to say that I don’t respect myself, or that I’m sad; I’m not. I simply can’t fathom staying the same. I need to change. How do I change though? Change the way I speak and redefine myself with words? How is that even possible when every word I or anyone else says is devoid of spirit; given meaning at the hand of others. Meaning to me is action, so how can words - which aren’t alive - have it? It's the worlds’ greatest misconception; the perfect pathetic fallacy - letting words define us as individuals. I want to change, because people assume, because of the way I act, dress, speak, and present myself that I’m naive; and my mind trivial  - I’m not and it isn’t. I can’t let these preconceived notions define me, and I won’t. But now, with words previously oppressed by thoughts, flowing steadily, I've realized something. I am going to change. I am changing, and I will change; and that's something I'm okay with, it’s something I need; but my needs don’t necessarily reflect those of everyone, and that’s why words are empty; I can tell someone I love them, but what does it mean? Three words, three syllables, worn out to the point where it’s become a colloquial term. It doesn’t mean anything - Actions mean something, and that’s what I need if I want to change. Action. I need to act, not speak. And I pray, that when someone asks me “What does your life mean” that I won’t be able to answer them; that I can’t put a definition to my life, because I don’t want my life to be empty. I want it to be. I am myself.. but who are you?

Author's Note

Some of the words may be out of context, or used improperly because of the fact that the character I created would use those types of words, whereas I myself would not.

P.S. If you get the song reference in the hook, you're my favourite person in the world.