"LoVE YoU DaD.....

" LOVE    YOU    DAD "

Opened my eyes in ur arms

You were trying to make me calm

Monday it was when i born

And you said here is my son

Holding your finger i learn to walk

You were there when i first talk

Like a shadow beside me 

Watching me with a glee

As i grew up some thing changes

Passing through different ages

We were not in a regular contact

As it was earlier like that

What i do ,it was right 

But was wrong in your sight

Though, you showed me the right path 

When i was in a devil's wrath

Now i had realized my mistake 

Destroyed the personality which was fake 

A message for you that i had

Wanna say Love you daD.

~uTkArSh SiNgH

Reviews

[The ArK]

A good piece of love letter, Utkarsh. It's not a surprise that the new generation teenagers take too much time to realize where the true love lies. Especially when they give much importance to mobile phones and Facebook friends rather than their primary friends, mom and dad. Rate of change of love is too much below than zero nowadays dude.

[Utkarsh Singh]

thank buddy ..............and i agree with u ..

[Life Pal]

Ur poem is so good.Loving ur parents is the
best love they r always with u, care for u forgive
ur mistakes.We should be greatful to them
because what we r today only because of them.

[Utkarsh Singh]

truly said ............angel /........i agreed with u ....... :)

[chitra dhara]

Beautiful lines...you have shown that love can always reach out beyond generation gaps...but sometimes its too late..better late than never..keep writing!

[Utkarsh Singh]

thanks chitra......i dont know why children takes so much time to understand the love of their parents ...... :'(

[chitra dhara]

Its just a phase of growing up..rebelling against your parents only to realize that they were right later ...by the time we realize we have to go through a lot of turmoil...it happens in each generation...even our parents did the same...so don't worry.. :-)

[Utkarsh Singh]

thanks for telling me .............:D

[chitra dhara]

You are Welcome!

[Utkarsh Singh]

.................... :D

[Saddam]

Now i had realized my mistake
Destroyed the personality which was fake
A message for you that i had
Wanna say L ove you daD.

Your feelings are very impressive.

[Utkarsh Singh]

oh ssadd you finally reviewed it ........thank yaar .....(y)

[William Wapi]

Interesting poem and a good topic indeed. I have found that practically every teenager goes through that stage, it is almost natural.

Please take note:

Grammar...

1st Stanze /

1st line: "Ur" Why not just write the whole word, YOUR.

3rd line: Monday it was when I born / should be: Monday (comma) was the day I was born. (If you want you can do away with the WAS)

2nd Stanza /

Line 1 should be: Holding your finger I [learnt] to walk.

2nd Line should be: You were there when I first [talked] / Spoke.

3rd Stanza /

Line 1 should be: As I grew up something [changed]

Line 2 :
"Passing through different ages" actually means passing through 1700s, 1800s, 1900s etc...
It should, at least, be: Passing through a different / new [phase]

4th Stanza:

Line 1 Should be : What I did felt right.
Line 3 and Line 4 do not sound like one sentence. A sentence that begins with "Though" should be written in this way: Though (no comma) you did bla bla for me (comma) I did not bla bla bla.


Rhymes...

Cont[Act] and Th[At] do not rhyme.


Born (pronounced: BON) and Son (Pronounced: SAN) do not rhyme.

You really have to take it easy with the rhymes, Singh. It seems to me you spend a lot of time thinking of words that would rhyme with what words than on the message of the poem. Just let the words flow naturally and forget the rhymes. You poems will be better.

[Utkarsh Singh]

thankyou william for pointing out so many mistakes ........and i will make sure taht from next time there will be no such grammer mistaes ........
and ya i have to pause for a moment to make a word rhyme with the other ......
from next time i will let the words flow naturally .....can you please check out my other poems and point out the mistakes so that i can improve myself ........i will be highly obliged......
and thankyou very much hope you will review my othere poems also and waiting for your more review

[Vidya Bacchus]

This is a very touching tribute to your dad,relationships between parents and kids is a tempestuous one sometimes but we must always strive to find our way back to each other because life is too short.Nice one U Singh :)

[Utkarsh Singh]

thnx vidya di .......

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome :)

[Rachelle]

Yeah, Utkarsh, when adolescence strikes, we kind of like to toe the line and challenge our elders. Then we crash and burn and figure out why parents are the way they are. The sad thing is, not everyone realizes it early, if at all…. and crash, burn and disintegrate.

A great tribute to dads.

[Utkarsh Singh]

o ya .... i think that i hv realized it early ....lolz
btw thanx for the review .......

[Michael Stevens]

Quite a tribute to your father; excellent!

[Utkarsh Singh]

thank you michael ...

[Bhavana Singh]

good transformation feelings into words though there is certain discontinuity in flow. Good work, keep it up :).

[Utkarsh Singh]

thank bhavna ...........n from nxt tym i'll take care of flow .... thanks for ur review....

[Free_Soul]

Nice poem.. an emotional work... :)

[Utkarsh Singh]

thaanx FS ..glad u like it