Paree

Poem 24 for National Poetry Month 2020. I wasn't expecting this to take the turn it did, but I'm super proud of this one!

Pressing backspace over and over again, 

I find myself back in college,

suspended from the Eiffel over picturesque Paree.

I should be taking in the 

sights,

living my best

life

up here over the ancient 

city.

But I'm left clinging to the rail,

denying the view with back to the classic scenery,

quivering to hold back my innards.

How do people get the gumption

to jump?

This notion to float for an

eternity

until the ground says, "Enough!" so

abruptly?

To stop the stomach churning

I suppose would suffice for an excuse.

But if you don't know a stomachache

how are you supposed to know when you're 

satisfied?

I mean, the crepes down on the corner

I can't see

are so delectably filling, sickeningly 

sweet

to the point that indulging would leave me 

heaving worse than I already am.

But for some reason that kind of puke

is worth the cold sweats and

misery.

And I wouldn't really know the difference

if

I never knew the experience of

fighting

involuntary abdominal spasms

brought on by the panic that my

clumsiness plus height always brings.

You see, I want to live my life feeling free 

to jump

but terrified enough to know better.

Savor a few confectionery 

bites

and save the rest for a more bitter 

day,

because the appeal of that next morsel

will keep my hands clutched tight

when height comes knocking at my knees.

And I want you to know that this feeling

really

is worth the occasional upset stomach.

If

only you'll indulge in the misery a little while

longer. 

Author's Note

I think there are still places where I could refine this piece, so please any feedback or critique is appreciated.