"Dream's Games"

         "Dream's Games"

She lives in dreams of yesterday,
Casting away all thoughts...that are in the way.
Rearranging the past..so it turns out right,
So..love remains--close-- in the dark of night.
She hangs on to dreams...clasps them tight to her chest,
As a wild bird would ...with fledglings on the nest.
So locked into the past...that she misses..today,
But...her tortured mind...finds peace that way.
In her mind her age...is always the same,
Young and beautiful..she lives dreams game.
Real life is lost...as each day does pass,
While she alters youthful dreams...that did not last.
She dreams of eternal love---that was not so.
For she lost his love...many, many years ago.

Written by Valentine

 

copyright
Valentine

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Lost dreams and faces do haunt us.
"She dreams of eternal love---that was not so.
For she lost his love...many, many years ago."
A sad and powerful poem written dear friend.
Coyote

[ranscan]

Exquisite. The rhyming scheme is orderly, the progression of concept and thought is well presented with some excellent development of imagery.
I know you have an affection for the use of .... in your work, I do to a point appreciate its value, however in this work I believe it disrupts the flow of your creation.
In the sixth line I do think the word "on" should be "in".
In the tenth line would "dreams game" be better as "dream's game"?
This piece does have a wonderful expression of the emotional themes.

[Valentine]

I am not the worlds best typist. In high school they took me out of it and put me in French class as my fingers do not like to type. Kathie

[ranscan]

Typos and other errors do happen to us all. One of the advantages with computers and sites like this is the opportunity to correct and change our work as we wish. If you would prefer to control the nature or type of review you wish to receive, I believe there is a section you can fill out when posting your piece that will inform others of your wishes.

[Einstein Noodle]

spot on girl! we remember things as we want ..forgetting the hard stuff ;} perhaps its best tho regarding the most painful of past experiences ..like a blessing of natural balm ... to truly forget :(
the tension of melancholy stretches throughout ..best read over several times for me ..well done says i! a tragic and heart wrenching poem!
E.

[Valentine]

Thank you for your kind words. Valentine

[sansrity sinha]

wonderful one..very very sentimental...gave me goosebumps as I read along..
thanks for sharing :)

[Valentine]

Thank you for stopping by. Kathie

[Stanley R. Teater]

Very touching, Valentine. My high school football coach said something to me once: The wins are great, but fleeting. The losses, though, haunt you forever. I didn't understand it then. I don't suppose 17 year old kids understand much of anything. I understand it now, though. Tell me.... does your poetry give you a sense of peace? Your words are moving for the reader. I hope they're moving for the writer as well.

[Valentine]

Stanley, Writing has always easy for me, my mom was a poet and wrote for newspapers when she was alive. I started rhyming at 3 I think she said. I also paint and liked that best for years. Since I lost my husband I am doing little of either. I sold all too soon and moved close to remaining family. Wait a year I did not do. Some sorry feelings at times. Kathie

[wordman]

we live in the moment when we`re young,but then it moves to memories
of the past,dreams of love that didn`t last

[Valentine]

The idea for this write came from a novel, but part of it reminded me of my loss. We all handle loss differently Ron, let me know when you put something new on please. Kathie

[wordman]

i haven`t been in a writing mood kathie.