Pebbles

                          Pebbles



                         Happiness

                    Comes in pebbles,

                       Not in boulders.

                             At least,

                 That is what Mama said.

                        It seems I have

                             Tripped

                           Over stones,

                                 For I

                       Stubbed my toes

                      On pebbles instead.

                         Still, happiness

                          Evades me yet.

                                Perhaps

                        I should have asked

                        'Mama, just what is

                                Happiness?'

                               After years of

                          Boulders, rocks, stones,

                                  And pebbles,

                           Happiness upon me,

                                  Has not set!!

   

            Valentine

Reviews

[Farhan Shaikh]

Very good one miss.Valentine..seeking for happiness..this poem says alot thanks for sharing

[Lovecraft]

I respect that you can write poetry that has a darker side to it, however little darkness you employ or feel. I know that I am a dark soul and I accept that part of me wholeheartedly. :)

This poem sows some confusion in the narrator while he/she searches for happiness in whatever form it takes. A search for happiness, acceptance and perchance a potentially hopeful safety pervade this poem as I interpret it.

It's good, of that I have no doubt. I would have preferred you to have gone deeper into these themes and elaborate upon them. So I suggest you might want to add a few more stanza's or even just an additional line or three.

Overall, it could use a little work but is still quite a good poem as is. :)

[Valentine]

I just remembered a few words my mom used to say and expounded upon them. I do not think of shades in grey, black or white, I just write. I am from a totally different generation than you. No cell phones or computers when I was in school. Kathie

[Lovecraft]

I may be 28, but I'm not on any social media and I use a 12 year old flip phone, lol. :)

[MsJewel]

Love your use of metaphor in this lovely little gem. It's great to read you again! :) Julie

[Valentine]

Every one says I use metaphors, I just jot down words that I remember and can add to or just feel. It is lovely to see your face Sweetie. Kathie

[Paul Bell]

Someone once told me. If you're going to wait for love, you may wait a long time. Seems like you've climbed the rocks, and boulders. The pebbles are the home straight.

[Valentine]

Paul, thank you for my laugh of the day. I had more than enough love for a life time. Kathie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i love this...sometimes we can't see happiness even if it bites us like a snake hiding among those stones.

we expect too much out of life, are never satisfied...some people are like that, some people are always bored...it is best when we can be happy just being ourselves...and having nothing more than friends and inner peace...but when we have to have things...we are always coming up a bit short of the Wants...

j.

[Valentine]

Jacob, a lot of truth in your response. Happiness comes from with in, not with out. Kathie

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Valentine,
Your spirit is beautiful! Vulnerable, honest was this portrayal of what the seeking of happiness can be; searching for what is wanted-needed. I found your poem structure a really perfect platform for the emotion you evoked in this almost dark-sweet poem, that is the feeling of empty desire not properly filled. I guess that our humanness somehow always will seek true love-true happiness. I identified with your thoughts. It was very moving to me.........................Bless you Valentine today and tomorrow. You are a blessing and I wish contentment of happiness within your soul where God lives! Kathy

[Valentine]

Kathy, just partly quoting my mom. She said 'happiness comes in pebbles, not in boulders,' and I just added to her old saying. She was the original Valentine, born on Valentine's Day. Kathie

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Valentine, Your history is so lovely. I think your growing up must of been full of many wonders. I have never met any one with a valentine birthday. Your pen name is so fitting and fits you too by the way. I pray for you sometimes. Thought you should know if that is all right.............Kathy

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Your mother has obviously left her imprint within your heart.

[Valentine]

Kathy, Thank you for the prayers, we all need them. As for my mom, she was more like 2 people. Thankfully she returned to God before she passed away. Kathie

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Hallelujah

[An owl on the moon]

Reading your words and feeling the depths of them, every step we take, every stumble, somehow we must seek that joy on the path. So insightful.

[Valentine]

Thank you. Just took my moms saying and added to it. Kathie

[Najam Us Saher]

You have very nicely compared happiness with a pebble and all the troubles with different sizes of stones. It was a very nice metaphor. Well written loved it. ☺

[Valentine]

Just words Najam, not into metaphors. Kathie

[FIN]

Wow. What a wonderful layout to a wonderful set of words and lines creating a wonderfully contemplative poem...

The line spacing and alignments and the slightly bold yet quiet typeface and its emotional qualities all fit so well together it made this for a relaxing, yet creative, and light philosophical read.

I had fun with this one, Ms. Valentine.

Much love,

LR

[Valentine]

Thank you. Kathie