A struggle through history

Pyramids, Temples, works of art

We view it all through rose tinted glasses

So many people have played a part

Now their bones have turned to ashes

The struggle of a creative mind

Can never truly be defined

Da Vinci, Bernini, Raphael

Creators of beauty, They stand above us all

Each of them has a story to tell

Sometimes even the greats ones can fall

The struggle of a creative mind

Can never truly be defined

For me life is all about pain

The more you suffer, The more you gain

All of the s**t i ever put up with

Was mostly a result of me being destructive

The struggle of a creative mind

Can never truly be defined

Whenever I'm sad i don't let it show

If i let it affect me it disrupts my flow

All this emotion has brought a tear to my eye

So i will end this right now with a thanks and goodbye

 

Reviews

[Clockwork]

I like the repetition that you use here. I also like how you talk about the greats and your struggles. You did well with that and I would really like to see you add some more of that.

I think the poem starts to get weaker when it splits away from the greats. The fifth stanza of this poem is solid, but I think it takes away from the potential of the poem to speak about the greats. I think that it would be fine if you used this stanza in another poem that linked to this one.

I also would say that the rhyme in the last stanza are a bit off. Yes, they are perfect rhymes, but they don't really fit the direction of the piece. It comes off as rhyming just to keep with the form.

You built a really deep, musically sound group of work in the begging, and I would love to see you add to that because I really think you have something going there, so I apologize if I seem a bit harsh, but I really want to offer you the best comments that I can because you deserve to hear things that will make this piece that best it can. You clearly have knowledge and some skill with words.

[Blue Ivory]

The first half of it was purely fascinating! Not to mention very truly spoken. You had me at the first line! It's very rhythmic and the rhyming was great. The last half was personal and touching. The ending was simply beautiful.

[Liderien]

Very creative piece.

[Rachael Day]

Great piece of writing! Seems very polished and has a wonderful message.


I like the stanza where you say, "the more you suffer, the more you gain." Reminds me of one of my favourite quotes..."Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

Well done!

[Elaenor Aisling]

Nice work. It truly is impossible to describe the struggles creativity poses.

[MOON]

Good flowing write.

[Michael G.]

The structure you have built is solid
The story you told is well developed and carries throughout the poem.
The flow and rhyme is also very good.
I would say you created an enjoyable poem for the reader to read and ponder.
Nicely done, Robin

[khalid]

i can deeply relate to this poem..however the person is great, they are to nothing at the end..to make it worse, you said ( the more you suffer the more you gain) i know you mean that you get more pain...is is really wonderful in meaning..i like it..

[Barbara Walker]

Your creative mind touches on great truth, then backs away as the emotion becomes too great, said it a beautiful rhythm and flow!

This is a really interesting read. I particularly love the line, "For me life is all about pain, the more you suffer, the more you gain" Very well written piece of writing. Thank you for sharing :)