Droplets

 

It wallops hard on earthly faces,

Dances in the atmosphere.

I call it when the sad girl weeps,

When shreds of irk all gather.

And when I’m done I tuck away the clout…

Just behind the lavender fields.

Some do heed my gracious acts

That brings us turf and wildflowers.

What do I bring you?

All that you necessitate.

An ingot of gold that pours through the leaves

Shout woeful sincerity unto the dancing straw.

A fret for demanding expansion calls for me…

From across an effervescent vessel of… lack of… humans

‘Oh joy’, sings the originator.

‘But, oh, what great sorrows you bring me

When my reserve does not fulfill the fancy for more.’

She cries, ‘What affliction… what troubling values follows you…

All of you??’

 

And yet, still serene droplets fall.

The trees bloom yellows for the residents.

Crying silently to bleak conditions,

She gives.

Still, she gives.

And she still seeks sanguinity,

Mother Earth.

 

Author's Note

minus the mistakes (that I'm sure exist) is it alright, or to wordy, or something....

Reviews

[M@]

Well, wow.

Right off the bat, it's apparent that your knowledge of vocabulary, coupled with your ability to weave imagry into such words like a tapestry produces amazing poetry. I can't say what this poem is about, but it makes me feel at peace in an apathetic sadness, if that's to make any sense at all. It gives me another view of how I should be treating Mother Earth, one of which I don't normally think about.

If you're worried about this poem being wordy, don't be. It's not wordy, as I can see that words are chosen carefully, and placed with even more caution. However, there does seem to be a few more...how should I put it?...ellipses throughout the poem...if you know what I mean. In one way, I feel cheated, that you're cheating me out of words that'd work amazingly well with the poem, and in another way, I feel that something's missing because of those ellipses.

In short...it's amazing.