The Danger of Fun

The Danger of Fun

A Poem by Rhayne
"

A Halloween warning

"

The Danger of Fun

 

It’s the night of the Goblin, the Demon, the Witch

Black cats, carved pumpkins and costumes stitched


Full moon and cotton clouds racing across the sky

Blowing leaves, hooting owls and bats of the night


Porch lights to map out the path to the sweets

Small groups of Ghouls roaming down deserted streets


“Watch out for the real ones”, one little Princess warns

For she had just escaped from a bad one with horns


Mom said “don’t talk to strangers or take their hand”

They may not live here, not even from this land


So take care all you children full of spirit and dare

Grab all the candy you can but do it with care


For not all the danger lurks out on the street

Some hide behind doors with smiles of discreet

© 2019 Rhayne


Author's Note

Rhayne
This is only my second poem and I'm not very good. But maybe with practice and advice from all my new friends, the word list will increase and the feel of it too.

My Review

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Reviews

a little unnerving. smooth flowing warning as you cover all of its imagery and potential traps. a little caution can go a long way in having safe fun ... :)

Posted 2 Months Ago


If this is your second poem, then you have natural talent! You lay down a rhythm that's organic, not overly structured, but your lively cadence goes with kids skipping down some sidewalk in costumes. Details are what makes a msg come alive & you use tons of relatable details. It can take time to get good at rhyming, but this is a respectable effort in that vein. The first half are near-rhymes & there's nothing wrong with that. In the last half, a few of your rhymes feel a bit forced ("not even from this land" -- could be pumped up a bit, rather than going for that weak rhyme) . . . and there are also some great rhymes ("a bad one with horns"). Nothing bad to over-focus on. Just making observations (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 2 Months Ago


Rhayne

2 Months Ago

It's amazing the reviews I've gotten on this one. It's so uplifting to me. My VERY FIRST poem was Th.. read more
there can really be dangers on Halloween...some times really bad people put bad things in their treats.
And our poor kids are tricked and hurt by them.
But this poem actually reminds me of the last time i went trick or treating...i was dressed as a hobo...big pockets...was at the end, going to the last house and got jumped by four big kids...and they stole all my candy...
I wanted to become a werewolf for real and kill them all....but alas...make-believe and i couldn't do that.
really like your last two lines.
j.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Rhayne

2 Months Ago

I'm so sorry for your bad experience. There's always someone who has to ruin things in some way. Luc.. read more

this is an absolutely amazing seasonal poem that has an amazing title that I would be prepared to buy off ya and use myself maybe one day..... N

Posted 2 Months Ago


Neville

2 Months Ago

Go for the contest my friend, the prize would be so much richer than I could afford.. and dont knock.. read more
Rhayne

2 Months Ago

Maybe I will. But thank you for the TON of encouragement you have given me. My Son says "thank you".. read more
Neville

2 Months Ago


you are both more than welcome :)
I see you took the advice of one of your reviews and wrote a Halloween poem! I was pleased when I saw you wrote another poem, I enjoyed it

Posted 2 Months Ago


Rhayne

2 Months Ago

Thank you! These don't come easy like stories. I wrote it for my Grandsons. They love Halloween. I'm.. read more

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Added on September 10, 2019
Last Updated on September 10, 2019

Author

Rhayne
Rhayne

Nashville, NC



About
I love to write. It clears my head of all the noise and sometimes, somehow it turns into something that makes sense. more..

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