I woke up in hell

Short story writing prompt! This is Hell as I imagine it, if it existed.

I woke up in Hell.

My eyes were closed and my ears had been stuffed with cloth, but there was nothing I could do about the smell. Fire, smoke and . . . was that cotton candy? Cheese flavour? I cracked half an eye open. Shock coursed through me, and I closed it immediately.

I slowly became aware of the noises around me. A loud, glib voice was projected across the amusement park from a megaphone.

“Come one, come all! See the man who hates cheese enduring his worst nightmares!”

‘Oh, hell.’ Truth be told, this probably was Hell. It was just like I’d imagined it. I opened my eye again, this time a little fuller. Fountains of strong-smelling cheese bubbled all around me, filthy yellow waterfalls coursed in the distance. A plump red imp stood atop a precariously swaying pile of boxes right in front of me, addressing a crowd of tourists with a little red megaphone. What had I done to deserve this horrible fate?

Before long, however, a pair of hulking demons - much like gorillas, except without the hair and the noble profile - arrived out of the building behind me and carried me away. Another pair of the demonic gorillas brought in a second victim, who had apparently fainted. What kind of tourists would come to Hell? What kind of tourists would enjoy seeing someone in such torturous agony? My eyes passed over a large red sign hanging from the building. ‘The Park of Torturous Agony’, it read. It occurred to me that this was probably what demons did when they had a day off from ruining crops and stealing tableware. I knew what boredom could do to a man, or a demon.

They brought me inside the building. “So, will you agree to my demands now?” Lucifera I (previously known as Lucifer) asked. The words were delivered in an air of self-satisfaction and confidence, but that was how she always talked.

“No,” I replied through clenched teeth (and a desperately self-pinched nose.[1]) “I won’t do it. Hell--“ Lucifera chuckled - “Hell,” I continued, insistent, “after the treatment you’ve given me, of course I won’t write a favourable review of this hellhole! Whatever... uh... what gave you the idea to even contemplate that possibility?”

“You were about to say demon, weren't you? Of course, I am one... kind of.”

“So there would be no possession required.”

“Whatever you are, not happening." I looked up hopefully.

"At least not before you get me out of here and give me bearable quarters to live in.”

Lucifera I’s eyes flickered outside towards the happily bubbling cheese-fountains, then turned to rest upon me. She smiled a wolf's smile. Well, if the wolf had really bad teeth.

“That can be arranged.”

‘Oh no.’

---

[1] Oh boy, learning that took me far longer than I’d ever imagined.

Author's Note

As always, constructive feedback! Or just your thoughts. I don't mind here.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is a fine piece of imagination! Thank you for not succumbing to all the tired, worn-out clichés about hell. This is very fresh & unexpected at every turn. I love cheese, cannot eat it without having an allergic reaction with hives & the whole bit (much worse than lactose intolerance). I don't think I've ever met a person who didn't like cheese. I am constantly craving it, myself! *smile* . . . Thanks for the fun write, totally outside the box & outside the dots.

Very imaginative: "This was probably what demons did when they had a day off from ruining crops and stealing tableware."

[Mikael Malmberg]

Thanks again for the detailed feedback! I have to confess, only certain types of cheese catch my ire. For example, halloumi cheese is delicious (especially when I'm hungry), but mozzarella tastes hideous for some reason. It must be the aroma of cheese. I was once forced to eat cheese as a child in preschool; it's a flimsy reason, but when pressed that's what I cling to. Maybe there's some strange mutation in my DNA that causes a severe mistrust of fermented milk.