Her intricate nature

Her intricate nature

A Poem by Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)
"

A ghazal.

"
Her nature has been intricate ever since,
she has just been an intimate ever since.

I eyed her beautiful and guileless visage,
she has simply seemed great ever since.


We quarreled the first day we went out,
we have never been on a date ever since.

She has never been there in my destiny,
I have disgraced my sad fate ever since.

I thought our hearts would meet 'Vatsal',
but we have been separate ever since.

© 2016 Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)


Author's Note

Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)
Criticism is always welcome.
It is a trend to include your name in the last couplet while writing a ghazal and such a couplet is known as maqta.

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Featured Review

I have no knowledge of this poetic form & I'm not a big fan of repetitious poems. That being said, I really do like most of your poem (the parts I can understand). The repetitious parts sound like a person hammering himself for not doing something differently upon that first meeting, such that he is now unable to move forward with this beloved as he would've wished to do.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)

8 Years Ago

Thanks for that review, ma'am. I will improve.
barleygirl

8 Years Ago

We're all improving (((HUGS)))



Reviews

There are definitely some quarrels I would like to take back. I felt this one, Vatsal:)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)

8 Years Ago

Thank you for your review.
I have no knowledge of this poetic form & I'm not a big fan of repetitious poems. That being said, I really do like most of your poem (the parts I can understand). The repetitious parts sound like a person hammering himself for not doing something differently upon that first meeting, such that he is now unable to move forward with this beloved as he would've wished to do.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)

8 Years Ago

Thanks for that review, ma'am. I will improve.
barleygirl

8 Years Ago

We're all improving (((HUGS)))
Hi, Vatsal!
Ah, such are the little challenges on a new date with one we aspire to impress, we must ever be on the alert to anything that might go awry, and seems (unfortunately) yours did.
A cute and interesting tale, My Imaginative Friend, of a situation too many of us may have found ourselves in, but it is true life, eh?
I'm guessing the moral is: If you want to have many dates with an alluring lady, ovoid arguments with her at every opportunity … LOL!
I genuinely enjoy the Ghazal form, Vatsal, and have written a few over the years, and in considering its rules it seems I recall the first verse should be a Quatrain of two couplets, with each line throughout, of the same syllable length.
Then, I am no expert on this form, but I've absolutely enjoyed your "sad, but true" version of it.

Thank you immensely for entertaining us with your always interseting imagination … many smiles to you! ⁓ Richard


Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)

8 Years Ago

Thank you very much, sir, for your insightful review. You seem to get the precise message which I wi.. read more

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144 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on April 21, 2016
Last Updated on April 21, 2016
Tags: Ghazal, Love, Refrain, Maqta

Author

Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)
Vatsal Rohilla (account shifted)

Dehradun, Uttrakhand, India



About
I am Vatsal Rohilla and my place of residence is Dehradun, India. I adore flipping through the pages of books and incommoding the nib of my pen. more..

Writing

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