Dear Love

Move, go away!

Why are you here?

Do not touch me!

Do not look at me!

I do not want you near.

 

I knew you once

Prematurely in a past life,

In the beginning, the end was far.

But you showed true colors

Leading to me keying your car.

 

Love,

I beg of you,

Please, leave me alone!

I know you've heard I need you,

But for you, I have outgrown.

 

Author's Note

What are your thoughts about this poem?

Reviews

[LJ]

I think there's a lot of action in this poem. It starts with a bang, an exclamation that interests readers so they'll keep reading. It's a good hook. The whole first stanza is. The second stanza fills in the backstory. My favorite lines are there:

"I knew you once
Prematurely in a past life,
In the beginning, the end was far."

'Premature' is apt for a past life, and the third line quoted is a fine play on words - 'beginning and end.' I confess I was a little taken aback by the speaker saying they keyed a car, because that goes beyond anything yet expressed here. For someone to show "true colors" - it can take form in anything from liking water on their cereal to some heinous crime. I'll give the benefit of the doubt and let that go now.

But then, coupled with the title, the addressed one is twice called "love." And I began to smile. Is it possible you're taking on "Cupid" and "love" itself? I think you may be. I only wish it was a little clearer earlier. Or that there was more follow-through, y'know what I mean? But it still may be working exactly as you want it to; I'm only giving my opinion. It works pretty good as-is. Thank you!

[VeronicaT]

Thank you for reviewing. You're right, I am taking on Cupid as well as love because I find them both tiresome.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

I love this
It’s very clever almost witty but not rather sad for the person to say it and for the person to hear it
Liked it a lot well done

[VeronicaT]

Thank you, I was going for the witty angle with this poem!

[John the Baptist]

Sounds like someone doesn't understand that someone else has moved on. After a reincarnation, you'd think he might have learned something. Some guys never do.

[VeronicaT]

Yes the fact that love doesn't understand I have moved on and no longer needs it is the point of this poem. Than you for your review!

[Quietstorm]

Sounds like a once toxic relationship that , one has moved on, while the other holds on to something that was no longer serving anyone