Beautiful Words From An Inebriated Crook

You're soft

and moving

You're on fire--

live from the stage,

closer, so the sun

may open your throat

allow me to see inside.

 

 

Let me breathe (why?) so I can cringe

(what for?) to feel sheltered by her device (yeah?)

and that her music may spare me

another day, another bowl to circle (oh)

 

 

Don't leave, don't leave

bury my lung

closer, so the sun

won't scorch her insides

 

 

Can you let me speak? (what would you say?)

violence wasn't a voice

(isn't it?) no, it's a bone stuck in the cog (yeah?)

she'll abandon her post, closer, let's hope she doesn't burn,

and notice my weak stares...

 

You're sweet

but I can't prove

how you move me...

still live from the stage.

You're a haven--

my savior

but don't fly too near,

lest my lung singe

I can still peer inside.

 

 

I might push her (yeah?) over the edge

what do you think? (sounds neat)

Are you impressed, even if we weren't so blessed? (what for?)

I thought you would be--

don't ask me for a piece of God, I'll take you there. (where else?) 

 

come here, stay here

bury my lung

closer, so the sun

won't scorch her insides

you know how it feels

live from the stage; you might trip up

closer, too close

so the sun--

may bury my lung,

closer, now I can peek inside

just me, not the sun.

Reviews

[G.A. Collins]

This is incredibly cryptic, and enticingly beautiful. The intimacy of your wording is impeccable, and I especially liked your style, using brackets to segment the dialogue, and bring the words from the page (or should I say, screen) and into a realistic voiced piece. It's a gem of poetry, this.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

Just reading, once again, never gets old!

[M. L. F.]

I like this piece a lot. It's not just fluff. It has depth and layers that go down. Very good work.
..Misty

[Vile]

Fluff? Haha
Thank you though.

[M. L. F.]

LOL.. no... I meant it is not fluffy... it has substance. Substance is good ;)

[Vile]

Haha I knew thats what it was not, just was curious how you meant "fluff"

[M. L. F.]

Ha.. hmm... Well, I guess that it wasn't too "Hallmark Card".. It had sustenance.. meat.

[Vile]

I'll chop my hands off before I write hallmark cards :P

[M. L. F.]

LOL.. Nah, don't go do a thing like that. How on earth will you write then? Pen in your teeth?

[Vile]

Monkey feet. Haha

[Dark Poet]

I felt like I was hearing a song, amd maybe it was maybe it wasnt. But it was melodic amd smooth. Knowing your music taste, i cam aee how that might be an inspiration. It was a beautiful read amd it would be interestimg to know how you wrote it or what gave you the idea. The second voice adds that much more to it. Wonderful job.

[Matching Socks]

I can't say I understand it all but it is captivating, almost hypnotic.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

so what do you see when you look inside?

[Vile]

Perfection.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

its a tall wall to climb....intrigued by your skill

[theshygirl]

not just a poem but an work of art
epic!

[Phoen-ix]

This piece is absolutely captivating. I'm at a loss for words..

[Phoen-ix]

Of course!

[Vile]

Thank you for the read then. I'm glad you enjoyed it

[Astrid]

Is this a song? If not, it seems like it could be

This feels quite lyrically Gothic in essence with a darkly romance setting and directed by an internal struggle...and something about pot? haha!

None-the-less, this is amazing.

[beautiful dreamer]

love the back and forth here. the inner dialogue almost as your poetry reacts to your poetry. its different and i like it.

[Vanesa Markovic]

Love the dual voices in this, very creative.
-VM