Night of Rayne

the beginning of a long adventure awaits...

night was quiet at the old abandoned production factory. The factory was once know for its production of prosthetic bodies but soon went out of business when other companies warmed up to the idea and started mass producing the same invention but at a much faster rate. Now all that remained was a decaying building away from civilization. For the first time in years a person stepped within the ruins. The woman was searching for someone. She still had no idea what she was doing there in the first place. A phone call interrupted her from her sleep at the hotel she was staying in. The man that was on the other line held a tone that was serious. He told her to meet him at this location. She was afraid of what the mysterious man's intentions were but a gut instinct led her to this place.

The stranger said her had answers that she would be soon looking for. She looked around the dark facility and felt a chill run down her spine. A man dropped down from the upper balcony and landed behind the woman, trying to choke her. She threw the attacker off of her and noticed the dark insignia inscribed on his coat in the moonlight.

“Wait-stop-hold on!” The woman held her hands out in defense. “I’m not your enemy.” The man hesitated.

“What makes you think that? You are trespassing on my hunting grounds.”

“I’m sorry. That insignia is of Silver right? You are of those rare breed of Vampires. I honestly mean you no harm.”

The man seemed to ease up.

“Now I remember who you are. Sarah Rayne. I heard you disappeared for a while. Some nova that exploded or something. So what's a girl of Light doing in the dark? I'm sure that your people have yet to even know that you are alive.”

“Please, don’t say anything. I’m not read to be ‘revived’ yet to the outside world. Trust me.” The Vampire looked puzzled but quickly dismissed any doubts.

“I’m sure you have your reasons but why come to me?”

“That’s because I wanted to speak with Sarah.” A voice from the second floor balcony reached Sarah and the man’s ears. “I chose the destination for a private conversation but I can see that I was mistaken. I had no idea anyone else occupied this area.”

“How unfortunate but do you mind telling me who exactly are you?” The vampire sneered and stood in front of the girl readying himself to defend her. Sarah stepped forward.

“It is okay. I’ll be alright. Please leave us.” The man glared at the intruder once more and walked away with a grunt. After the man left the intruder jumped from the balcony and landed in front of Sarah. “Okay, now what do you want with me? Start with telling me who you are.”

“I know a lot about you. I’ll cut out the details and get to the point. My name is Vincent. Make sure that name is only kept in your head around others. I don’t want anyone besides us knowing that we are communicating and I’m sure you want the same. Here, take this.” Vincent handed Sarah a piece of paper.

“What’s this?” Sarah asked looking it over. The paper had directions written on how to get to a certain location.

“That will lead you to a place to get answers to difficult questions. You will be informed on what to do next.”

“Why are you doing this? Why me?”

“Like I’ve said before, there is too much to explain. I will tell you eventually if you continue to trust me.” Vincent gave off a small smirk. “Besides, it’s not like you have any other important plans, right? Hard to do anything much without being noticed these days.” Before Sarah could respond, Vincent turned and disappeared in a haze. Sarah let out a sigh and looked at the paper again. She decided to go see about the address. Maybe it could tell her what was really going on.

The directions led her to an Indian village. Upon entering the village she was greeted by a young Indian woman.

“Welcome. We have been expecting your arrival. Will you please follow me?” Confused, Sarah followed the woman into the village and she saw an elder Indian man sitting near the edge of the cliff by a fire. The Indian woman stopped and turned towards Sarah. “Please wait here a moment.” The Woman rushed over to the elder Indian and spoke with him a moment before returning to Sarah. “Please, come and sit. The chief has been waiting for you, like I said before.” The Indian woman left as Sarah walked to the opposite side of the fire and sat down on a cloth laid out on the ground for her.

“You are the second outsider to come to these ancient lands recently and I know that there is a connection. The first knew about your coming even before me. Do you know why you are here, child?”

“I was told to come here. I was hoping you could tell me why my being here is important.”

“So you are looking for the answers of questions you do not know?” Sarah was taken aback by the question.

“I-I guess you’re right�"“

“No, young one. You know what I say is true in your heart and mind. You must first find the questions or else the answer will only cause confusion.” The elder Indian paused as if letting Sarah take this in. “But there is one question in your mind that has led you to sit on the very ground beneath you.” Sarah let out a sigh and looked at the elder Indian with serious eyes.

“What must I do next?” The Indian slowly raised a shaking finger towards the moon.

“You have the moon’s light for guidance. You have relied on it before. Your neck bracelet proves that.” Sarah unconsciously reached for the neck bracelet her mother gave her before she died. The touch instantly brought back memories of nightmares that haunted her.

A peaceful town that was suddenly attacked by a group led by a crazed man. It was an execution of everyone in the town. After the attackers left most of the town's people were dead. Sarah's mother being one of them. The people in the village were a rare kind of people that were already on the brink of extinction. The people were known as the Moon Angels. A peacful group that thrived on peace and tranquility. They dispised war and violence and their lack of knowledge as well as expierience on the topic proved fatal for all of them. Everyone knew the incident as the Dark Massacre. “Listen closely, child." The elder's voice brought Sarah back to reality and she realized that she must have been crying because there were wet streaks on her face. She quickly wiped her tears and regained her focus. "What I am about to tell you is the next step you are looking for.” The Indian took some sand from a pouch and tossed it into the fire. The flames came to life and shot up in a variety of different colors. “You must seek Twilight during the fourth day after the next full moon.”

“How will I know where to look?

“You must look for the city which rules the sky.”

“How can I look for Twilight during the day?”

“This answer I have given you requires a deeper way of thinking but once you find the answer you will realize how simple your search of Twilight will be.” Sarah stood up and wiped the excess dust off of her skirt.

“Thank you.” Sarah turned to leave trying to figure out the riddle she had just recieved.

“I have a question for you.” Shocked Sarah turned back around.

“Really?” Sarah asked surprised that the fortune teller was asking something of her instead of telling her or knowing it already. The elder Indian smiled.

“Do you trust the man that sent you here?” Sarah was taken aback. She needed to answer that question herself but suddenly it was clear. That man had also appeared in her dreams but her wasn't threatening. He came to Sarah, during the invasion, to help her. If it wasn't for him Sarah might have been killed along with the other Moon Angels. Sarah looked at the man and returned his smile.

“I've been wondering what the answer was as well but I guess my being here speaks for itself.” The elder Indian simple and slowly nodded his head. Sarah walked away again and left the village with the answers only stirring up more questions in her mind.

Author's Note

I will be updating this as much as I can. it's just a factor of transferring it from paper(script form) to computer(story form). Reviews are welcomed.

Reviews

[Paris France]

This was enjoyable. I liked the plot and setting , but thought your characters and scenery needed more description. Anyone can write a story, but it takes a true writer to draw the reader into the plot and make the characters come alive. I also wanted to know more about Sara personality and to dig deep into her feelings. Was she scared when she entered the ruined factory? Did she feel that she could trust these people? You know, that personal descriptive stuff : ) Good work, I know you are a good writer and can polish these nice stones into gems!

[J.Leonard]

This needs copy editing.
some of the dialogue doesn't make sense.
The setting didn't grab me. (What is a nova?")

Essentially, I felt like an eavesdropper on that first conversation because I didn't know what the state of the world was. The bad grammar and spelling turned me off very quickly so I didn't finish the story.

I'm intrigued by it, but if this is the beginning, then I'm going to need a character that is on the same page I am when it comes to discovering this world of yours or have a prep sheet or a glossary of terms so that I know what they're talking about before having to wait a few pages to get the revelation.

[Black_Rabbit]

Like Paris I belive the story is actually very intresting but also needs more describtion on the surroundings as well as the characters. I think that if you maybe wrote more about the country in which Sarah is living and her journey to India, it would make the story even more exciting. Also the part where, she flashes back to the time her mother was killed, I think that if you maybe wrote that part as if Sarah was not only reflecting back on it but actually living it through again in that moment through her memories and maybe telling us what happened to other of her family members...If she had any at all, except her mother. Overall I enjoyed reading this chapter and look forward to reading the next ones. :)