Demon Slaughter

Demon Slaughter

A Poem by Violet Stone
"

Poem about demons and their evil nature. Please give me a review xx

"

Demon Slaughter

Creatures of hell with desires led by lust,
Human memories of them have turned to rust.

Their long claws as sharp as talons,
They are just as deadly as a dragon.

Razor teeth, eyes as dark as night,
Their strength holds a dark might.

Lords of hell, dark masters risen,
Impossible to hold them in a prison.

Do not defy them or make them angry,
You will regret it - They bring about agony.

Long red horns atop their head,
Even a tail - or so it's said.

Demons waiting with their need to kill,
Hear the cries in the night... down goes god's will.

By Violet Stone

© 2016 Violet Stone


Author's Note

Violet Stone
Hope you enjoyed it everyone!

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Featured Review

An interesting read, I would recommend some word play, perhaps some short descriptive phrases to set your tone.

Their long claws as sharp as hawk talons,
And just as deadly as a fire dragon.

Their claws sharpened, their cadaverous talons
As deadly as any fire-breathing dragon

(a suggestion, but it still needs a little work, Claws, and talons, become contradictory . . . their one or the other, claws suggest a grounded beast, while talons suggest a winged fowl.

I appreciate the image you’re trying to convey, but your meaning is lacking (almost as if you forgot the final line). It speaks of a spiritual undertaking, lost, consumed, God’s will forsaken, but it feels a bit halted, as if there’s more to be said.



Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Violet Stone

10 Years Ago

Thank you for the review, Jack. I'm really grateful that you'd take the time to help me improve. I'm.. read more


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Reviews

Wicked....... There are real demons among us, and they are scary. Nice description of evil.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A very interesting read. Great imagery and meter.

JUST SOME NOTES (feel free to ignore them):
"have" seems superfluous in the second line and breaks the rhythm a little
"as" also seems superfluous in the fifth line: "Razor teeth and eyes, dark as night"
Again, "as" in line nine: "Don not defy them; they will get angry"
Line eleven, maybe [atop] instead of "on top"
And, the last line (though I know it breaks the couplet) seems like it should be two lines. Maybe "…and down goes god's will" should be a stand alone closer.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MomzillaNC

10 Years Ago

Never apologize for your voice -- that's what poetry is: the voice of your soul. Only you know what .. read more
Violet Stone

10 Years Ago

Thank you so much. I think that has to be the best advice anyone has ever gave me on this site, I un.. read more
MomzillaNC

10 Years Ago

Apologies are wonderful, magical things, to seldom used. However, it can be like sandpaper on your s.. read more
An interesting read, I would recommend some word play, perhaps some short descriptive phrases to set your tone.

Their long claws as sharp as hawk talons,
And just as deadly as a fire dragon.

Their claws sharpened, their cadaverous talons
As deadly as any fire-breathing dragon

(a suggestion, but it still needs a little work, Claws, and talons, become contradictory . . . their one or the other, claws suggest a grounded beast, while talons suggest a winged fowl.

I appreciate the image you’re trying to convey, but your meaning is lacking (almost as if you forgot the final line). It speaks of a spiritual undertaking, lost, consumed, God’s will forsaken, but it feels a bit halted, as if there’s more to be said.



Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Violet Stone

10 Years Ago

Thank you for the review, Jack. I'm really grateful that you'd take the time to help me improve. I'm.. read more

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Stats

355 Views
3 Reviews
Added on September 3, 2014
Last Updated on February 15, 2016
Tags: Demon, Killing, Claws, Evil, Darkness, Night, Hell, Desire, Supernatural.

Author

Violet Stone
Violet Stone

Halloween Town, United Kingdom



About
My name is Violet Stone. This profile is under reconstruction! more..

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