Laughter in Lies

Eyes of ice and soul of fire
Within this heart live dark desires
The book of promises becomes a book of lies
As your God forsakes all and leaves his angels to die
Any hopes of a once light, saving grace
Now turns to gray dust and a time of waste
The skies crack open beneath a cold, heartless sun
As I find my own God down the barrel of a gun
Preaching all your godly ways, along with all your optimistic ways
When in the end, you will come to see
That the last laugh really, belongs all to me

Reviews

[Tate Morgan]

funny how our minds roll around isnt it Creating from mere thought lucid idea

[Suavis_Umbra]

wow , purely amazing. to me it seems that you really know how to describe moments of death. the imagery is crazy and the rhyming is SOOO AMAZING. LOVE IT XD XD XD XD

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thank you so very much! :)

[Wakeofahero]

This may be one of the coolest writings I've ever read. Absolutely bad a*s, and probably one of my favorites at that. The best parts are about finding your own God down the barrel of a gun and having eyes of ice and a soul of fire... Love them. This is being shelved as a favorite.

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

OMG thank you so so much!! I'm glad you liked it :)

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

Zounds! What a turn of heart, if there was one to begin with. Is it OK to lie at the bottom of the ocean and still hope for a tiny glimmer of sunlight? (rhetorical) I guess that's why all of those denizens of the deep and dark produce their own light; such as this piece. Complexity sparkles, teasingly, within this darkly colored swatch of midnight garden.

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thank you so much for this review!!

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAuthor]

My pleasure. I like the way your mind-heart works and how you express yourself. All flowers ultimately wither and die but I for one like to stop and admire their beauty while they are here. They are such elegant gifts; to be enjoyed, admired, perhaps even revered.

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Oh my gosh, what you just wrote itself was beautiful! You explained it so well. Thank you!

[Mark]

mmm.... God turns into the Devil. Interesting concept. Well written, it moves well and there were no distractions. I think you know more about 'the rules of writing' than you think you do. :)

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thank you so much for your review! I really don't know much about "do's and dont's" and "rights and wrongs" of writing, creative writing that is. lol But I'd love to minor in writing someday. Thanks again :)

[Mark]

I think some of us just have a natural understanding of how to communicate through writing. :)

[Craba]

The skies crack open beneath a cold, heartless sun
As I find my own God down the barrel of a gun

These lines really grabbed my attention, very powerful and real.
Amazing!

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thank you so much!

[Austin Davis]

Christianity has its holes and dead falls. You've exploited them; the way they make you feel, in greatest prose.

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thank you

[Ahmad Cox]

Dark and beautiful

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thank you

[Jessica]

I love how dark this is & I can feel the emotion. It's amazing! Great work :)

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thank you! =)